YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.12

Former President George W Bush said he is “disturbed” by the abuse of immigrants taking place in the United States.

Bush said he’d be less disturbed by it if he was still President.

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Ohio authorities dropped charges against adult film star Stormy Daniels just hours after she was arrested during a performance at a Columbus strip club. She was arrested for letting a patron touch her without permission.

Never arrested for touching women without their permission? Still Donald Трамп!

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Massive protests are planning to greet Donald Трамп during his state visit to the United Kingdom. The protests include a giant balloon in the shape of him as a baby, vulgar crop circles, and a gathering of a few hundred thousand people.

Трамп plans to file a grievance over these incidents with his manager, Vladimir Putin.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

George W. Bush ‘disturbed’ by current US immigration debate
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/12/politics/george-w-bush-bill-clinton-presidential-leadership-scholars/index.html

Sex-offense charges against Stormy Daniels dropped just hours after arrest
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/stormy-daniels-arrested-strip-club-charged-sex-offenses-n890791

‘@#$%! Trump’: Crop circle vulgarity to greet president as he flies to UK prime minister
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2018/07/12/crop-circle-vulgarity-carved-into-field-along-trumps-uk-flight-path/778127002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.07

House Freedom Caucus members are being urged to stand by Republican Representative Jim Jordan amid allegations that he knew about, but did not report, the sexual abuse of wrestlers he coached at Ohio State University in the early 1990s.

Representative Mark Meadows, who chairs the House Freedom Caucus, called on members to support Jordan, telling them, “We must stand together. We’ve all sexually assaulted someone. We’ve all covered up sexual assaults. Because if we can’t live together, we’re going to die alone. Yes, I just quoted Jack from Lost. Yes, we of the House Freedom Caucus argue with each other about the ending of Lost. Yes, I like the ending of Lost. Yes, I think you’re an idiot if you don’t agree with me. Yes, it’s a metaphor. But more importantly? If we don’t stand together to protect each other from the consequences of the sexual abuse we’ve committed and covered-up, who will? Also, I still think Sawyer should’ve ended up with Kate, it was weird that he ended up with Juliet, even though she’s super hot.”

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Secretary of State Mike Pompeo left Pyongyang Saturday after a 24 hour session of intense negotiations about taking apart North Korea’s nuclear weapons.

“We had many hours of productive conversations,” Pompeo told reporters shortly before departing for Tokyo. Meanwhile, North Korea said the talks were regrettable and unproductive.

Mike Pompeo was later seen by reporters eating a hot dog at Ronald Reagan international airport. He told reporters, “This is not a hot dog, it’s a meat carnival.”

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USA Today ran a stunning editorial this morning by Siddique Malik of The Courier-Journal Opinion. In the editorial, Malik said that the immigration crisis caused by the Трамп regime showed they acted like the Taliban.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions denied Malik’s claim, saying, “Look at my face. LOOK AT IT! Do I have a beard? Nope, clean shaven. Smooth as a baby’s behind. So, we’re definitely not the Taliban. Now, please leave me alone, I need to personally go to the border and rip a child away from her screaming parents and lock them in separate prisons.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

House Freedom Caucus members are urged to stand by Rep. Jim Jordan
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/07/politics/jim-jordan-house-freedom-caucus-congress-gop-support/index.html

After Pompeo departs, North Korea calls talks with U.S. ‘regrettable’
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/secretary-pompeo-north-korea-vice-chairman-seek-clarify-their-positions-n889551

Donald Trump’s administration acts like the Taliban. The only difference? We voted for our leaders
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/nation-now/2018/07/07/trump-administration-democracy-taliban-immigrant-children-human-rights-column/760514002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.06

Three Central American parents are suing US immigration officials because they aren’t being given ample communication with their children.

Immigration official Skip Hoobless denied the claim, telling reporters, “What was good for me as a child is good for their children, I used to talk to my mom all the time using two cups and a string!”

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Republican Representative Jim Jordan of Ohio told Fox News on Friday that he never heard about members of the Ohio State University wrestling team being sexually abused by the team doctor.

“No one ever reported any abuse to me. I would have dealt with it,” Jordan told Bret Baier of Fox News.

Just after saying this, Jordan sneezed and blew mucus all over Baier. Jordan denied that Baier was covered in mucus and claimed, “It’s just love juice. That’s not snot. I didn’t sneeze. Love juice!”

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Kino Jimenez allegedly assaulted San Antonio, Texas teen Hunter Richard for wearing one of President Donald Трамп’s Make America Great Again hats and was arrested and charged with felony theft Thursday night.

San Antonio Police told reporters, “Regular people can’t just verbally assault people and take their property, who does this guy think he is, the President?”

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Y’know, if he keeps this up, Jim Jordan just might be an awful enough human liar that he could some day run for President. Watch our Трамп, there’s a new dummy in town!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Separated migrant parents sue US immigration officials for more communication with children
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/06/politics/separated-parents-children-border-lawsuit/index.html

Rep. Jim Jordan says he never heard locker-room talk of abuse by Ohio State doctor
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/rep-jim-jordan-says-he-never-heard-locker-room-talk-n889411

Suspect arrested after viral video shows teen attacked for wearing MAGA hat
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2018/07/06/teen-maga-hat-whataburger-theft/762422002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.05

Special counsel Robert Mueller’s team argued Thursday that Трамп campaign chairman Paul Manafort’s doesn’t need to be released from jail before his trial, despite pleas from his lawyer.

When the judge asked why Manafort needs to be released from jail, his lawyer said, “Because he really wants to get to Russia,” before he was shot by a dart gun and fell to the floor unconscious.

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Scott Pruitt’s replacement for head of the EPA is Andrew Wheeler, a former coal industry lobbyist.

Sources say in related staffing news, the new head of the Coast Guard will be a tiger shark.
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Speaking of awful people working for Donald Трамп, former Fox News executive Bill Shine has been hired as a senior White House communications aide. Bill Shine was ousted from Fox News for ignoring decades of sexual harassment claims from women.

Трамп is hoping Shine can do the same for the White House.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Mueller team argues Manafort should not be released from jail before trial
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/05/politics/mueller-manafort-jail/index.html

Scott Pruitt EPA replacement Andrew Wheeler won’t be any better for environment, green groups say
https://www.nbcnews.com/science/environment/scott-pruitt-epa-replacement-andrew-wheeler-won-t-be-any-n889186

Donald Trump hires former Fox News executive Bill Shine as top communications aide
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/07/05/donald-trump-hires-ex-fox-news-executive-bill-shine/760120002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.03

Kristin Mink confronted Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Scott Pruitt at a Washington restaurant and urged him to “resign before your scandals push you out.”

White House sources say Pruitt plans to remain in his post until he’s sure he’s gotten all of the money he possibly he can from the job.

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Republican Congressman Jim Jordan of Ohio, is accused of failing to stop Ohio State University team doctor Richard Strauss from molesting members of the Wrestling team and other students when Jordan was a coach there.

Jordan told reporters, “This is a lie, he only molested women and spied on teenage girls at beauty pageants,” before he realized they weren’t talking about Трамп.

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A 92-year-old Anna Mae Blessing of Fountain Hills, Arizona shot and killed her 72-year-old son after he told her he was going to send her to an assisted living facility.

NRA Spokeswoman told reporters, “The only thing that stops a bad old lady with a gun is a good old lady with a gun.” She unveiled their new policy to arm all women age 92 and up with pistols to help keep the streets safe.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Woman confronts Scott Pruitt at a restaurant, urges him to resign
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/03/politics/scott-pruitt-mom-restaurant-confrontation/index.html

Powerful GOP Rep. Jim Jordan accused of turning blind eye to sexual abuse as Ohio State wrestling coach
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/powerful-gop-rep-jim-jordan-accused-turning-blind-eye-sexual-n888386

92-year-old woman kills son after refusing to be sent to assisted living facility, authorities say
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/07/03/arizona-woman-accused-shooting-son-death-refused-move-assisted-living/757249002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.26

fascis_disco_queen.pngThe historic Jackson Magnolia, a tree that has been in place since the 1800s, will be cut down and removed from the White House. The decision to remove the tree from the White House was made by First Lady Melania Трамп. Reports say that the reason the tree is being removed is because it’s old and diseased.

In related news, reports say that Melania Трамп would also like to remove Donald from the White House for the same reasons.

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The wave of lawsuits against powerful men who’ve sexually harassed and assaulted women has got lawmakers rethinking statutes of limitations for those crimes. Many lawmakers would like to completely remove them in the case of sexual assault.

The exception is a least one Republican lawmaker in the White House who’s name rhymes with “Ronald Dump.”

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Justice Department Inspector General Michael Horowitz has worked for the last year on a  wide-ranging review of Federal government handling of Hillary Clinton’s emails.

Pundits are expecting a good chunk of 2018 news to be devoted once again to Hillary Clinton emails, much to the delight of your one facebook friend who could never let it go.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Exclusive: Iconic White House tree to be cut down
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/26/politics/white-house-jackson-magnolia-south-facade/index.html

Sex misconduct cases spur rethinking of statute of limitations
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/sex-misconduct-cases-spur-rethinking-statute-limitations-n822286

Analysis: The quiet probe into Clinton email investigation could be a landmine for Robert Mueller
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/12/26/analysis-quiet-probe-into-clinton-email-investigation-could-landmine-robert-mueller/965396001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.11

Former White House press secretary Sean Spicer is writing a book about what he says happened during the 2016 election, transition and his time serving Donald Трамп.

Aides say that Spicer is planning to write two versions, one for general audiences with the working title “My Time in Washington,” and another for Трамп called, “Spicey Made a Fart!”

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A federal judge on Monday rejected Donald Трамп’s request to delay enlistment of transgender people in the military. The Pentagon said enlistments would begin on January 1st, 2018.

Also starting on January 1st, 2018, the attachment of Donald Трамп’s next toupee!

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A man detonated a low-tech, improvised explosive device in a crowded pedestrian tunnel at the Port Authority near Times Square today. He said he timed the assault to hurt the greatest number of people he possibly could. He managed to hurt himself and cause no other injuries with his homemade bomb.

Somebody should’ve told him that if he wanted to hurt people at the Port Authority, the best way is to force them to use the bathrooms!

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Sean Spicer announces he’s writing a book
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/11/politics/sean-spicer-book-trump-election/index.html

Judge rejects Trump’s request to further delay transgender military enlistment
https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/judge-rejects-trump-s-request-further-delay-transgender-military-enlistment-n828486

Suspect in Times Square blast timed assault for maximum impact
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/12/11/nypd-explosion-port-authority-bus-terminal-manhattan-times-square/939724001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.10

Chief judge on the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Alex Kozinsk is accused of sexual harrasment by multiple staffers who worked with him, The Washington Post reported Friday.

Reports from Washington D.C. say that because of these serious charges, Donald Трамп wants to appoint him to the Supreme Court.

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A recent discovery reported in Nature has redefined how scientists look for signs of life. Researchers discovered a new species of bacteria that can live only by breathing fumes of hydrogen, carbon monoxide, and carbon dioxide.

In a related discovery, other researchers reported that many people from Alabama can live only by breathing only cigarette smoke and religious propaganda.

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Speaking of Alabama, the race for the Senate seat there between Democrat Doug Jones and literal Republican pedophile Roy Moore is almost done. But Roy Moore has apparently disappeared from the campaign trail and been unavailable for press appearances or rallies.

When a reporter asked where Moore was, a spokesperson for the campaign said, “I don’t know, have you checked the girl’s bathrooms at any local junior highschools?” before being whisked out of the room.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Renowned appeals court judge facing claims of inappropriate sexual conduct
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/09/politics/alex-kozinksi-accusations/index.html

New discovery could change the way we look for alien life
https://www.nbcnews.com/mach/science/new-discovery-could-change-way-we-look-alien-life-ncna827921

Where’s Roy? Days before Alabama election, Moore disappears from campaign trail
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/12/09/wheres-roy-days-before-alabama-election-moore-disappears-campaign-trail/938022001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.08

At a rally in Florence, Alabama, Republican pedophile Roy Moore said that the last time America was great was during the time of slavery. Moore said, “it was great at the time when families were united — even though we had slavery — they cared for one another.”

There’s no punchline here, just a reminder that half of Alabama thinks this guy belongs in the U.S. Senate.

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Speaking of child molestors, Jeffrey Sandusky was sentenced to 3½ to 6 years in prison after pleading guilty to pressuring a teenage girl to send him naked photos and asking her teen sister to perform a sex act.

Reports say that he completes his prison term, he has a standing offer to run a teen girl beauty pageant owned by Donald Трамп.

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A recent study revealed that levels of arsenic in baby rice cereal are higher than current FDA recommendations. The recommended level of arsenic for baby rice cereal is less than 100 parts per billion.

Americans reacted to the news by saying, “there’s a recommended level of arsenic for baby rice cereal?”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Roy Moore’s incredible ‘even though we had slavery’ quote
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/08/politics/roy-moore-slavery/index.html

Sandusky’s son sentenced to prison for sexual abuse of girls
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/sandusky-s-son-sentenced-prison-sexual-abuse-girls-n827936

Arsenic in baby rice cereal higher than FDA recommendation, advocacy group finds
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/12/08/arsenic-baby-rice-cereal-higher-than-fda-recommendation-advocacy-group-finds/935725001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.05

CNN reported that Donald Трамп knew in January 2017 that former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn lied to the FBI. The revelation raises new questions about Трамп’s interactions with former FBI Director James Comey.

The White House assured reporters that the American people will forget all about this after Трамп calls Barrack Obama a turnip on Twitter.
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Speaking of Donald Трамп, did you know he’s being sued for sexual assault by former “Apprentice” contestant Summer Zervos? Donald Трамп’s attorney, though, just argued in court that because he’s President, he can’t be sued.

The other reason that Donald Трамп’s attorney said he can’t be sued is that, “because like Summer Zervos is a totally made up name. Totally made up! Can’t be a real name, la la la, can’t hear your accusations of sexual assault, la la la la.”

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Omar Delgado, a police officer, hailed as a hero for his actions during the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando is being let go just six months before he would have become vested in his pension.

Delgado said, “At least it’s better than what usually happens, which is, like, you say, ‘I just got six months to go for my pension,’ and then, like, a guy runs you over with a car.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump knew Flynn misled FBI
http://www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2017/12/04/source-trump-knew-flynn-misled-fbi.cnn

Summer Zervos defamation suit: Trump lawyer says president can’t be sued in state court
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/sexual-misconduct/trump-lawyer-argues-president-can-t-be-sued-state-court-n826831

Hero cop of Pulse shooting is being terminated from force
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/12/05/hero-cop-orlandos-pulse-shooting-terminated-force/925724001/

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