YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.05.21

Congressman Al Green (D-TX), has been threatened with lynching after he announced his intention to pursue impeachment proceedings against popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп.

Representative Green called on his colleagues to impeach Трамп over his firing of FBI Director James Comey, who was overseeing an investigation into ties between Trump’s presidential campaign and Russian officials. Green noted that the move was an obvious case of obstruction of justice and said Congress needs to show that “no one is above the law.” After he gave this speech, Green was flooded with violent and racist messages, including callers who repeatedly called him n*gg*r and threatened to hang him from a tree.

When asked for a comment, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп vowed to protect Representative Green from lynch mobs and violence despite their differences, and said that,  “This is a battle between good and evil.”

Just kidding! Nah, Трамп said that about the Middle East! In the United States, Representative Green’s treatment is just business as usual.

When asked for a comment about the racist threats against Congressman Green, the White House phone just rang and rang because no one was there to pick it up, because literally the entire White House is in the Middle East. Reportedly, staffers left behind are watching, “The Manchurian Candidate,” over and over and ordering lots of pizza.

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Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is in the Middle East and gave a speech where he said that the United States is in a war “between good and evil.”

“This is not a battle between different faiths, different sects or different civilizations,” Трамп said. “This is a battle between barbaric criminals who seek to obliterate human life, and decent people of all religions who seek to protect it. This is a battle between good and evil.”

At least Трамп seems to understand now why so many people are fighting against him in the U.S.! Although, I think referring to himself as a barbaric criminal seeking to obliterate human life may be a bit much. I mean, Трамп clearly likes his white nationalist supporters, so, he’s probably not trying to kill them.

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The regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is hopeful that his speech yesterday will help “reset” relations with the Muslim world. Трамп has touted a $110 billion arms deal with Saudi Arabia as part of a strategy to bring leaders of 50 Muslim countries together under a common objective of peace.

This indicates the White House and the State Department  are hoping to go back to an older strategy of simply cooperating with dictators in the Middle East. As a reminder, this cooperation led the U.S. to support the Shah of Iran, who was deposed dramatically in the 1970s and replaced by a theocratic regime actively hostile to the United States.

Reportedly, President Steve Bannon is hopeful that the ‘reset’ speech will help Muslim people forget all about the travel ban, Трамп’s rhetoric, and more, so he can, “Start over with the same policies and surprise people.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Racial slurs thrown at Texas lawmaker who called for Trump’s impeachment
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/05/21/racial-slurs-thrown-texas-lawmaker-who-called-trumps-impeachment/101978924/

‘Drive them out’: Trump calls on Muslims to share burden in terror fight
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/21/politics/trump-muslim-speech-saudi-arabia/index.html

White House hopes Trump’s speech will reset relations with Muslim world
http://www.today.com/video/white-house-hopes-trump-s-speech-will-reset-relations-with-muslim-world-949505603881

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.02.18

Wow, with less than one month into his term, holding a 38% approval rating, and a 56% disapproval rating of his performance thanks to a White House in chaos, it looks like most of America is deeply disappointed with the work of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. Everything from a hastily enacted Muslim ban, a botched raid in Yemen that led to the death of a Navy Seal and 9 children, to secret ICE raids breaking up families, to the recent ouster of Michael Flynn from his position as National Security Advisor due to repeated, illegal contacts with the Russian government, points to a White House in chaos.

Трамп, naturally, refutes this idea, and went to, you guessed it, Twitter to refute reality. THis morning he said, “Don’t believe the main stream (fake news) media.The White House is running VERY WELL. I inherited a MESS and am in the process of fixing it.”

And last night, he said, “The FAKE NEWS media (failing @nytimes, @NBCNews, @ABC, @CBS, @CNN) is not my enemy, it is the enemy of the American People!”

Based on what’s been going on, everyone in America is pretty sure they know who on Twitter with a name that rhymes with “Ronald Dump” is acting like an enemy of the American people right now.

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Speaking of reporting on a chaotic White House based on factual accounts that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп chooses to ignore, did you hear what happened to new HUD Secretary and perpetually sleepy looking guy Ben Carson? Apparently, Carson’s top aid, Republican consultant Shermichael Singleton, was fired because he wrote an Op-Ed a few months ago that said Trump was taking the Republican Party to a “new moral low.”

Singleton said, “We allowed that hostile takeover to happen on our watch … This individual recognized a moment of great disparity in the Republican base and, like cancer, attacked and spread, consuming everything in his path.”

To top it off, apparently, Singleton was fired without consulting Carson, who only learned of the firing after the fact.

In fairness to the Трамп regime, though, Ben Carson can be a little dopey. Maybe he just forgot that his staffer got fired? Hard to say these days, hard to say.

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Speaking of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing, Vice-President Mike Pence recently vowed to ‘hold Russia accountable’ while speaking with an anxious audience at the Munich International Security Conference this Saturday.  

Pence has also reportedly told people that Трамп’s hair is real, so, might want to take that with a grain of salt.

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Have you ever noticed that Donald Трамп never mentions USA Today in his rants about fake news? What’s amazing is, just about everything he calls Fake News is reported IN USA Today. Same goes for the Associated Press, Reuters, The LA Times, The Washington Post, PBS, NPR, the Wall Street Journal. And that’s not even the tip of the iceberg of media in the United States, let alone the rest of Planet Earth.

I mean, that’s the bubble this guy lives in, he doesn’t read, he watches a limited amount of TV, and he doesn’t realize that there are all these other media sources saying the exact same things. It’s like having a relative who reaches into your fridge and complains, “The only thing you guys have to drink is Miller Lite and it sucks!” and never notices the bottle of water, the orange juice or an entire rack of Guiness in the back of the fridge staring him IN THE FACE EVERY TIME HE OPENS THE FRIDGE.

Except, he also has the ability to say, “Fire the Nukes!” So, yeah, we’ve given the nuclear codes to a guy who’s just like a guy that can’t tell what’s in a refrigerator. On the bright side of things, with the planet heating up, there’s a good chance we could die of heat exhaustion before the year is out, so, more good news folks!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.02.14

Michael Flynn, The National Security Advisor to popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, resigned in disgrace yesterday, due to a growing scandal over violations of the Logan Act and repeated lies that he had been in contact with Russia over 2016.

No word yet on whether President Steve Bannon has accepted the General’s resignation.

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Speaking of scandal, it’s recently been discovered that the Justice Department warned the Трамп administration last month that Michael Flynn had lied regarding his repeated communications with the Russian ambassador to the United States and was potentially vulnerable to blackmail.

The message about Flynn’s lies was delivered by then-Acting Attorney General Sally Yates. If you’ll recall, Yates was fired a month ago, the day after she said the Justice Department would not enforce the Muslim Ban that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп had recently put in place.

When asked for a comment on these irregularities, Трамп spokesperson Kellyanne Conway put on an Emu costume, did an interpretive dance, then crab-walked away.

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Boy, it’s been a tough start for popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, and all the decisions he has to make. “Which natural disaster should I ignore today in the United States? How many national secrets should I talk about openly at Mar-A-Lago where Russian agents could hear them? What country should I insult today?” For the last one, Трамп’s go to country has consistently been, you guessed it, Mexico!

And it looks like Mexico is ready to hit back. Did you know that Mexico is one of the top buyer’s of United States produced corn? But that could all change if Mexican senator Armando Rios Piter, who leads a congressional committee on foreign relations, gets his way. Piter plans to introduce a bill this week in Mexico, requiring that Mexico buy corn from Brazil and Argentina instead of the United States.

In response, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп vows to end Taco Tuesdays at the White House.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

 

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.02.13

Did you hear what happened in Germany this weekend? Hamburg Airport briefly closed after dozens were injured by something officials there described as an, “irritant gas.”

Maik Lewerenz, spokesman for the federal police in the northern German city, said that 68 people had experienced eye irritation and breathing difficulties. Rene Schönhardt, spokesman for the Hamburg police, said there was “no evidence” that the incident was a terrorist attack. It turns out that a police pepper spray cannister had exploded into the ventilation system.

One couple at the airport reported that they felt similar systems when they were last in Florida,  after exposure to irritating gas-bag Donald J Trump.

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Speaking of flying, man, something CRAZY happened in Austin, Texas this weekend. A flight for United Airlines was delayed after a pilot started ranting over the plane’s PA system before take-off.

Passengers reported that that the pilot asked people if she should change her uniform and fly as-is, called Hillary Clinton and Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп “a**holes” and claimed that she would soon be a guest on Oprah. The ranting pilot was removed from the plane and another pilot replaced her about two hours later.

In a related story, the Trump regime has just announced that their new head of the FAA is, “Some pilot broad from Austin, Texas, that we heard is just fabulous, absolutely top of her game, and has the right spirit and can-do attitude to be on our team. Have you had the shrimp scampi yet at our Winter White House, Mar-A-Lago?”

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Speaking of the Trump Regime, it appears that Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп may be considering firing National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. It turns out Flynn had contacted Russia’s ambassador about lifting sanctions the outgoing Obama administration slapped on Russia BEFORE Trump was sworn in as President, in violation of a law against private citizens’ engaging in diplomacy. In addition, Flynn and the Trump regime repeatedly lied about it.

Who would have thought that a guy who bragged to The New Yorker about breaking rules and security procedures while in the Army would be the one to break rules and security procedures in a Trump regime?

It’s impossible to see these things coming, folks.

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Holy guacamole, it’s crazy that Flynn lying about talking to Russia is the thing that could do him in, and, not, like PizzaGate. If you don’t know what PizzaGate is, consider yourself lucky! Don’t look it up. Seriously, don’t look it up! You’re looking it up. I warned you. You’re one of those people that, like, if someone says, “don’t do something,” you go and do it, right? Okay, don’t look up, “Puppy Unicorn Bliss,” on Google Images. Don’t do it! DON’T DO IT! I’M BEGGING YOU NOT TO LOOK UP PUPPY UNICORN BLISS ON GOOGLE IMAGES!

 

Anyway, have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/hamburg-airport-briefly-closed-after-dozens-injured-by-unidentified-substance/2017/02/12/7371809c-f129-11e6-a9b0-ecee7ce475fc_story.html?utm_term=.5902598592a4

http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/12/us/united-airlines-flight-delayed/index.html

http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/trump-s-white-house-headed-its-first-shakeup-n720146

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/09/us/flynn-is-said-to-have-talked-to-russians-about-sanctions-before-trump-took-office.html?_r=0

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/the-disruptive-career-of-trumps-national-security-adviser