YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.11

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп said during an impromptu press conference from his golf course in New Jersey that he could launch a military strike against Venezuela.

When asked what would make a war on Venezuela a certainty, a White House aide said, “A 10 point boost in the polls. A war with Venezuela might be more popular than a nuclear with Korea.”

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Speaking of North Korea, Donald Трамп said on Friday that North Korea “will not get away with it” if he does anything to hurt the people of the United States.

The jury is still out on whether Donald Трамп will get away with hurting the people of the U.S.

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The state Department of Civil Rights has opened a complaint against the Michigan man who has a “No foreigners” sign on his front lawn next to one reading “For sale by owner.” The sign violates state and federal laws against discrimination based on national origin, the department said in a release Thursday.

After being informed of the news, Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III promised to divert funding for the investigation to helping the racist Michigan man print more signs.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump says he won’t rule out military option in Venezuela
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/11/politics/trump-xi-north-korea/index.html

Trump Warns North Korea Leader ‘Will Not Get Away With What He’s Doing’
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/trump-us-military-locked-loaded-north-korea-n791721

‘No foreigners’ sign at house for sale draws investigation
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/08/11/no-foreigners-sign-house-sale-draws-investigation/561343001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.07

This morning North Korea said it will launch “thousands-fold” revenge against the United States, after the United Nations Security Council unanimously approved tough new sanctions Saturday, including a ban on coal and other exports worth over $1 billion.

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said Monday that, “The best signal that North Korea could give us that they’re prepared to talk would be to stop these missile launches.”

Pretty sure that threatening to launch a thousands-fold revenge is not a sign that anyone wants to talk. Heckuva job you’re doing on the peace front there, Tillie.

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Today the New York Times reported that many politicians will bend the truth to make a point, but that Трамп lies more than any other modern politician in history.

Later today, the New York Times will report that water is wet.

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On Friday Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп started a 17-day vacation at his resort golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey. The regime was quick to note that this is a “working” vacation, so Трамп will still do some of what he considers the President’s job..

Among the things Трамп plans to do on his vacation while working are …

 

  • Golfing
  • Tweeting
  • Lying to reporters about how much someone says they liked his speech
  • Tweeting while Golfing
  • Eating three scoops of ice-cream
  • Golfing while tweeting

 

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

North Korea threatens ‘thousands-fold’ revenge against U.S. for sanctions
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/08/07/north-korea-threatens-revenge-against-u-s-sanctions/544226001/

Many Politicians Lie. But Trump Has Elevated the Art of Fabrication.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/07/us/politics/lies-trump-obama-mislead.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

As Trump plays golf, trouble brews
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-40829988

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.06

When asked by George Stephanopoulos whether Donald Трамп would fire special counsel Robert Mueller over the investigation into the regime’s ties to Russian espionage, Kellyanne Conway said, “The president has not even discussed that.”

Conway was unsure whether Трамп would tweet about it while on the toilet during his upcoming golfing vacation. “He does tweet a lot from the bathroom,” Conway was heard to quip between commercials.

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New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said Sunday that Donald Трамп Jr.’s meeting with a Russian lawyer in June of last year was a bad idea. He told CNN’s “State of the Union that, “This meeting was ill-advised … Everybody in retrospect knew this was a bad idea.”

Pretty sure people at the moment it happened that everyone knew that talking with spies from a hostile foreign government was a bad idea, but okay Chris Christie, you be you.

chrischristie_ap_img.jpg
Ah, no way, I’m WAY WORSE at governing than you! Way! WAY WAY!

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An area the size of New Jersey in the Gulf of Mexico is an oxygen-deprived dead zone that’s devoid of life.

Also an oxygen deprived dead-zone: Donald Трамп Jr.’s head.

I mean, seriously, “In hindsight talking to Russia was a bad idea?” COME ON!

19DONJR-superJumbo.jpg
Dad said I had to sit here and think about why trying to be honest with the media was a bad idea.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Kellyanne Conway: Trump ‘not discussing’ firing special counsel Robert Mueller
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/08/06/kellyanne-conway-trump-not-discussing-firing-robert-mueller/543412001/

Christie: Everybody knows now Trump Jr.’s meeting was a ‘bad idea’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/06/politics/chris-christie-robert-mueller/index.html

Why This Year’s ‘Dead Zone’ in Gulf of Mexico Is Bigger Than Ever
http://www.nbcnews.com/science/environment/why-year-s-dead-zone-gulf-mexico-bigger-ever-n789636

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.05

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп begins a 17-day vacation golfing today. While he’s away, workers will work on renovations to the White House.

gold_toilet-not-saddams.jpeg

Before he left, Трамп handed workers pictures of Saddam Hussein’s palace and told them, “Make it look just like this, but imagine me there, instead.”

Aides say that Трамп’s favorite toilet, Mr. Shiney, will be the first to get a gold-plated make-over during his absence.

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On Friday, the Трамп regime officially told the United Nations that the U.S. intends to pull out of the 2015 Paris climate pact.

When asked why they made the announcement, a spokesperson for the Трамп regime said, “We just wanted to remind people that we’re douchebags for a lot of reasons, and not just because we’re white supremacists.”

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Sergey Kislyak, Russia’s former ambassador to Washington, denied Saturday to Russian 24 channel’s “Press Conference” that he had discussed secrets or even the issue of sanctions with now-fired Tрамп regime national security adviser Michael Flynn.
gallery-1494377363-esq060117kislyak007a.jpg

When the host of “Press Conference” asked him to confirm that his was Sergey Kislyak, the ambassador said, “Nyet, my name is Steve Johanson, and I own a landscape gardening business in Pawtucket, Rhode Island.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

While Trump’s away, ‘much-needed’ White House renovations begin
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/04/politics/trump-white-house-renovations/index.html

U.S. Officially Tells U.N. It Wants out of Paris Climate Deal
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/u-s-officially-tells-u-n-it-wants-out-paris-n789796

Former Russian ambassador Kislyak denies discussing secrets or sanctions with Michael Flynn
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/08/05/former-russian-ambassador-sergey-kislyak-denies-discussing-secrets-sanctions-mike-flynn/542311001/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.03

 

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitted on Wednesday that popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп told two lies about two phone calls.

Lie #1 from Трамп was when he said, “Even the President of Mexico called me. Their southern border, they said very few people are coming because they know they’re not going to get to our border, which is the ultimate compliment.” This wasn’t true, Mexico never called him.

Lie #2 from Трамп was when he told the Wall Street Journal that, “I got a call from the head of the Boy Scouts saying it was the greatest speech that was ever made to them, and they were very thankful.” This wasn’t true, the Boy Scouts didn’t call him, either.

Reports say this is the phone Трамп was using when he took those calls.

download.jpeg

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The United States may cust costs for replacing the nation’s Air Force One fleet by using Boeing 747s that were originally built for a Russian airline. Meaning, that the next Air Force Once could have a direct Russia connection.

This is similar to the current Air Force One, which has a direct Russian connection in it whenever Donald Трамп flies in it.

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Senator Thom Tillis (R-NC) and Senator Chris Coons (D-DE) of the Senate Judiciary Committee plan to introduce legislation Thursday that would allow any special counsel for the Department of Justice to challenge his or her removal in court, with a review by a three-judge panel within 14 days of the challenge.

When informed of the news, Donald Трамп said, “We’ll see what my lawyer has to say about this, someone get me the Presidential Phone!”

download.jpeg

 

 

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Donald Trump just keeps lying
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/03/politics/donald-trump-mexico-boy-scouts-lies/index.html

Next Air Force One to come from 747s built for bankrupt Russian airline?
https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/flights/todayinthesky/2017/08/03/next-air-force-one-come-747-s-built-bankrupt-russian-airline/535858001/

Senators Move to Protect Special Counsel in Russia Probe
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/senators-move-protect-special-counsel-russia-probe-n789161

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.01

 

The White House worked with Fox News and a wealthy Republican donor to push a fake news story about the murder of Democratic National Committee staffer Seth Rich.

A White House aide said, “Yeah, totally, this is what we did, because we–” but was yanked out of the room by Jared Kushner before she could complete her sentence.

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Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп lashed out on Twitter, because of course he did, and threatened to make life harder for insurance companies, members of Congress and millions of Americans relying on Obamacare for coverage.

A Washington insider speaking from behind a curtain who wished to remain anonymous believes Трамп hopes that behaving this way accelerates the likelihood he’ll be Impeached and removed from office. “Pretty sure he just wants to go golfing. I mean, he literally goes almost every weekend.”

Reince Priebus then stepped out from behind the curtain accidentally and fell down a flight of stairs.

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Speaking of Twitter, one day after swearing in a new chief of staff, Donald Трамп has a message for the world: He won’t stop tweeting.

“Only the Fake News Media and Trump enemies want me to stop using Social Media (110 million people),” Trump said in a post Tuesday. “Only way for me to get the truth out!”

Reports say that General Kelly’s sigh after Трамп made his remarks could be heard in Wyoming.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Lawsuit: Fox News concocted Seth Rich story with oversight from White House
http://money.cnn.com/2017/08/01/media/rod-wheeler-seth-rich-fox-news-lawsuit/index.html

Health Care: President Trump’s Triple Threat
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/health-care-president-trump-s-triple-threat-n788321

After swearing in new chief of staff, Trump pledges: I won’t stop tweeting
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/08/01/after-hiring-new-chief-staff-trump-pledges-keep-tweeting/528553001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.31

 

Last week, the US Congress passed a bill imposing fresh sanctions over Russia’s meddling in the US’ 2016 election. And this week in response, President Vladimir Putin ordered the US to cut staff at its Russian embassy and forced some US diplomats home.

The White House had no comment on the matter, because White House Communications director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was busy preparing comments about his pending divorce from his wife for the morning talk shows. Some of those comments include, “Leave my family out of ‘dis,” “You come at me wit’ a knife, I come at you wit’ a gun, you put one a my guys in da’ hospital, I put one a your guys in da’ morgue, dat’s the White House way!,” and, “This ain’t personal, it’s business.”

There’s no word yet on precisely how many movies The Mooch plans to quote during his tenure in the White House.

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The White House’s commission on voter integrity begins work this week but is divided on the key question their tasked with answering: Is there widespread fraud at the ballot box?

One thing they all agree upon, though, is that there’s widespread fraud at the White House, but nobody is going to talk about that.

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Millions in anonymous donations are being sent directly to Super PACs supporting popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, despite Трамп’s repeated calls to “drain the swamp” in Washington of special-interest money.

White House aides say that Трамп doesn’t see those anonymous donations as swamp water, instead noting that, “it’s more like, we’re getting champagne. Because seriously, with the amount of money we’re getting in, we could bathe in champagne.”

Sources say Melania Трамп is planning to spend the donation money on a new shower that sprays Moët & Chandon, while her husband Donald will spend the money watching different kinds of showers get sprayed.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Putin hits back at sanctions bill by gutting US missions
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/30/politics/russia-us-diplomatic-missions/index.html

Trump Vote Fraud Commission Members Divided on Key Issue
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-vote-fraud-commission-hopelessly-divided-n785461

Secret donations are helping to boost President Trump’s agenda, fights with investigators
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/07/30/secret-donors-help-boost-trump-agenda-battles-investigators/516221001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.28

 

Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell’s latest attempt to replace Obamacare with Trumpcare failed last night during a dramatic vote. McConnell and the Republican Party wrote a new bill late last night, and the vote failed by just three Republican votes from Senators John McCain, Lisa Murkowski and Susan Collins.

McConnell and his fellow Republicans were devastated that they weren’t able to take away health care from millions of Americans, and have vowed to kick some puppies this morning until they get their next chance to hurt millions of men, women and children.

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Right next to headlines about the failure of Republicans to repeal and replace Obamacare, CNN ran a headline about Anthony Scaramucci that read, “The 8 wildest storylines from The Mooch’s first week on the job.”

I mean, what could go wrong by downplaying the serious danger of having an unhinged alleged-billionaire lunatic in the halls of power in Washington D.C., right CNN?

It’s almost like CNN doesn’t remember running similar headlines about popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп a year ago.

CNN is basically like that friend at a party who’s pretty smart and okay to talk to most of the time, but then sometimes gets blackout drunk then ALWAYS decides to pee in someone’s bed when that happens.

Then says, “I mean, I don’t remember peeing in your bed but like someone shouldn’t have let me in that room in the first place. Can we talk about Hillary’s emails?”

Anyway, Anthony Scaramucci is a deranged lunatic, which is why he fits so well in Трамп’s White House.

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This just in, Federal investigators are close to revealing some of Donald Трамп’s most closely guarded secrets through their probe of his dealings with Russian nationals and government agents. Among those secrets are how much money he REALLY makes, which Russian mobsters he does business with and how much money he owes to the aforementioned politically-connected Russian mobsters.

Still a secret: The number of hours and people it takes each day to construct his combover!

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

GOP Obamacare repeal bill fails in dramatic late-night vote
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/27/politics/health-care-debate-thursday/index.html

The 8 wildest storylines from The Mooch’s first week on the job
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/28/politics/anthony-scaramucci-wild-week/index.html

Russia probe could reveal Trump’s closest-held secrets
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/07/27/russia-investigation-delves-into-trumps-most-guarded-business-secrets/515961001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.25

 

CNN recently asked Senator Angus King (I-ME) which version of the GOP Senate health care plan he is going to vote on. Senator King answered with silence, then broke his silence by saying he knows almost nothing about the bill.

Meanwhile, Senator John McCain (R-AZ), recently diagnosed with brain cancer, is apparently planning on voting for the version of the bill that takes away the most health care from the most people in the country.

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Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп gave a speech to thousands of teenagers and young boys at the Boy Scout jamboree on Monday. Трамп used this as an opportunity to demand Hillary Clinton be locked up, and that Obamacare be repealed. The teenage boys in the crowd responded by chanting, “USA, USA,” after Трамп made his threats.

White House Aides say that the Boy Scouts are planning to rebrand themselves as the, “ТрампYouth,” sometime in September 2017.

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Infuriated by the ongoing Russia investigations, Donald Трамп attacked his own Attorney General and racist southern stereotype Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III on Twitter.

“Attorney General Jeff Sessions has taken a VERY weak position on Hillary Clinton crimes (where are E-mails & DNC server) & Intel leakers!” Трамп said in an early morning twitter meltdown. He quickly followed by tweeting,, “Jared Kushner did very well yesterday in proving he did not collude with the Russians. Witch Hunt. Next up, 11 year old Barron Trump!”

It’s unclear if Трамп knows what the definition is of the word collusion is. Aides say that Трамп believes collusion means, “Like when two cars run into each other, so he’s saying Kushner doesn’t even drive, so like how could he have been in a collusion?”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Senator on health care bill: Silence
http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2017/07/25/angus-king-silence-on-health-care-vote-sot-newday.cnn

The dramatic return of John McCain
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/25/politics/john-mccain-returns/index.html

Trump Talks Politics. With the Boy Scouts
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-talks-politics-boy-scouts-n786216

Trump attacks Attorney General Jeff Sessions for failing to investigate Hillary Clinton
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/07/25/trump-attacks-jeff-sessions-failing-investigate-hillary-clinton/507568001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.24

 

Jared “The Kush” Kushner gave a public statement about his four meetings with Russian officials during the 2016 Presidential campaign and said, “I did not collude.”

Collusion means, “secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy, especially in order to cheat or deceive others.”

After being informed of the definition of collusion, The Kush said, “Oh, THAT’S what that word means. Yeah, I totally colluded with them, then, yeah.”

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Less than a week after revealing he is battling brain cancer, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) said today he will return to Washington on Tuesday to vote on Trumpcare, the bill that will take health care away from millions of people.

I guess if McCain votes for the bill, he’s basically saying, “Health care can’t help me, why should it help you?”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Kushner confirms Russia meetings, says ‘all of my actions were proper’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/24/politics/jared-kushner-russians-statement/index.html

McCain to return to Washington for health-care bill vote
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/07/25/mccain-return-washington-health-care-bill-vote/507263001/

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