YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.02

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп sent out a tweet this morning that he found on r/The_Donald, of a doctored gif of Трамп bodyslamming a wrestler at a WWE broadcast, with the head of the bodyslammed wrestler superimposed with a CNN logo.

A short time later, the official @POTUS Twitter account retweeted Трамп’s tweet to its 19 million followers, which means that this gif is now part of the official record of the United States government. Arguably, that was true when Трамп made his tweet.

Pundits took to the airwaves to try and defend or analyze why Трамп sent out the tweet. Some surmised that he has finally lost any semblance of a grip on reality. Others believe that Трамп is trying to distract from a variety of scandals, everything from his bizarre attacks on the TV hosts of ‘Morning Joe’ to his regime’s repeated lies about ties to the Russian government, to a list of literally hundreds of lies that Трамп had made JUST since assuming office.

So far, no pundits have said, “It’s possible that in his lunatic mind, he thinks this is a distraction from all of those scandals or just fun,” but give it time, they’ll get there. Hopefully the country realizes that, yes, Donald Трамп does have access to nuclear weapons so, hey, that’s probably a really bad idea.

It’s also unclear at this time if Трамп is aware that the original clip was staged, because Wrestling is as fake as his combover.

————

Speaking of dumb things said by members of the regime, Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price on Sunday defended popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s dedication to passing a new health care law after the president sent numerous tweets this week instead focused on attacking the press.

“The fact of the matter is that he can do more than one thing at a time,” Price said on NBC’s “Meet The Press.”

It’s unclear at the time if Price was aware that Трамп had just tweeted out a doctored clip from a fake wrestling show that shows him beating up CNN in a staged event when he said that. Sources say that Price was aware that Tрамп had made the tweet, and will later reveal that Трамп made the Fake Wrestling Tweet while sitting on the toilet, thus proving his hypothesis that Трамп can do more than one thing at a time.

————

Seriously, Donald Трамп has lost his mind.

The only people that are thrilled with that dumb wrestling tweet are Трамп, 12-yr old boys that like to kick smaller kids in the nuts, and adults who act like 12-yr old boys that like to kick smaller kids in the nuts.

In other words, this is media by a bully for bullies. And everyone who’s ever faced down a bully knows one thing above all others; bullies are cowards. 

And the best way to fight a coward is to stand up to him.

And also? To wear a cup. Best defense against the only real weapon a bully has in their arsenal.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump punches CNN in a juvenile tweet
http://money.cnn.com/2017/07/02/media/president-trump-cnn-video/index.html

Health Secretary Tom Price on Trump Tweets: He Can ‘Do More Than One Thing at a Time’
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/health-secretary-tom-price-trump-tweets-he-can-do-more-n778971

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.01

 

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп went on twitter and attacked MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski on Saturday morning, saying, “Crazy Joe Scarborough and dumb as a rock Mika are not bad people, but their low rated show is dominated by their NBC bosses. Too bad!”

Pretty sure Scarborough and Brzenzinski aren’t the crazy ones, Donald.

————

In an op-ed article in the Washington Post, and then in a live appearance on “Morning Joe,” MSNBC hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski said top White House officials warned them earlier this year that the National Enquirer was planning an exposé about their relationship, and urged them to beg Trump to get the paper to back off. In other words, there was an attempt by the White House to blackmail them.

When informed of the news, popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп was heard on the toilet ranting as he went on Twitter. An anonymous staffer claimed Трамп just said, “Your mom’s a blackmailer. Oh yeah, well YOUR MOM is a blackmailer!” over and over again while sitting on the toilet.

Reports say that Donald Трамп did not flush the toilet.

————

Although his conservative comrades in the Senate are still butting heads over a controversial health care bill, human turtle and Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) was optimistic about the potential for compromise Friday evening but said that the Senate will stick with their current TrumpCare bill.

When asked how you can call the bill a health care bill when it’s currently a “Take Away Health Care from People Bill?”, Mitch McConnell reportedly retreated into his suit and fled the room.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Defiant Trump resumes attacks on ‘Morning Joe’ hosts, despite bipartisan criticism
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/01/politics/donald-trump-morning-joe-tweet/index.html

‘Morning Joe’ Hosts: White House Leveraged National Enquirer Article to Demand Apology
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/morning-joe-hosts-say-white-house-used-national-enquirer-article-n778626

McConnell: Senate will stick with working on health care bill
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/07/01/mcconnell-senate-keep-working-health-care-bill/445292001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.06.28

 

On Tuesday, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders ordered the White House press corps to watch a video from conservative provocateur James O’Keefe, “whether it’s accurate or not.” The video was reported to show a CNN health team producer, John Bonifield, criticizing CNN’s treatment of the Trump-Russia story. Bonifield was taped without his knowledge. She took the opportunity to promote O’Keefe’s work.

“I think we have gone to a place where if the media can’t be trusted to report the news, then that’s a dangerous place for America. And I think if that’s the place where certain outlets are going, particularly for the purpose of spiking ratings, and if that’s coming directly from the top, then I think that’s even more scary, and certainly more disgraceful,” Sanders stated, which struck more than one reporter as ironic, given that James O’Keefe has repeatedly circulated actual fake news. In addition, Sanders was apparently promoting his work without knowing whether or not it was accurate.

That was too much for reporter Brian J. Karem, a correspondent for Playboy Magazine, who interrupted her and said, “Come on, you’re inflaming everybody right here, right now, with those words. This administration has done that as well. Why in the name of heaven — any one of us are replaceable, and any one of us, if we don’t get it right, the audience has the opportunity to turn the channel or not read us.

You have been elected to serve for four years at least. There is no option other than that. We’re here to ask you questions. You’re here to provide the answers. And what you just did is inflammatory to people all over the country who look at it and say, “See, once again, the president is right and everybody else out here is fake media.” And everybody out here is only trying to do their job.”

Sanders then said, “I think if anything has been inflamed, it’s the dishonesty that often takes place by the news media.”

It’s unclear at this time if Sanders was referring to James O’Keefe, who repeatedly doctors his videos and is literally dishonest.

————

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп went on Twitter tirade this morning, because it’s Wednesday, and attacked media sources over a New York Times story that noted Трамп doesn’t understand much about Health care.

“The failing @nytimes writes false story after false story about me. They don’t even call to verify the facts of a story. A Fake News Joke!,” he tweeted. “Some of the Fake News Media likes to say that I am not totally engaged in healthcare. Wrong, I know the subject well & want victory for U.S.”

The New York Times reported that when reporters asked Senate Majority Leader and human turtle Mitch McConnell, whether Трамп understood the details around the health care negotiations, McConnell’s head retreated into his suit and he smiled blandly in response.

So, this morning, CNN is running an op-ed from a correspondent that essentially restates what the New York Times already reported. And the story is just another remind that Трамп doesn’t understand what he’s doing, and Трамп attacks the press over it.

In other news, CNN will report on a story first reported by the New York Times, from a source from the Associated Press, that water is wet.

Трамп will later go on Twitter and call the breaking, “Water is Wet,” story fake news. Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders will then later demand reporters watch a video about, “Dry Water,” from James O’Keefe.

————

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has hired an army of lawyers to help deal with the investigation into his lies about and ties with the regime of Vladimir Putin.

Reports say that the lawyers feel a little out of their depth, since they aren’t sure who they can simply settle with. Attorneys for Трамп say that the President is willing to write a check for $10 million or more dollars with SOMEONE to just settle this lawsuit, like he does with every lawsuit.

The attorneys for Трамп are currently looking to hire a ‘Трамп Translator’ to help him understand why lying about Russia is different than lying about Трамп University or those women he sexually assaulted over the years.

————

CNN: They’re not great, but they’re better than Трамп

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

‘We can’t take the bullying anymore,’ says WH reporter
http://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/-we-can-t-take-the-bullying-anymore-says-wh-reporter-977862723997

A heroic Playboy reporter defended CNN’s honor at the White House press briefing
https://www.vox.com/2017/6/27/15882094/sarah-huckabee-sanders-brian-karem-press-briefing

James O’Keefe Brings His Dishonest, Doctored Videos To The World Of Political Campaigns
https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2014/10/06/james-okeefe-brings-his-dishonest-doctored-vide/201026

Trump has never been big on detail
http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/28/politics/trump-face-healthcare/index.html

Donald Trump and his team hired an army of lawyers for Russia investigation. Who made the list?
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/06/28/donald-trump-and-team-hire-team-lawyers-russia-investigation/430381001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.05.29

Newly elected French President Emmanuel Macron recently shook hands with popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп in full view of the world media in Brussels. Трамп has been using these handshakes with world leaders to do a sort of ‘dominance ritual’ where he’ll jerk on the world leader’s arm and pull them closer to him. But Macron, aware of this strange behavior, gripped Трамп’s hand tightly and resisted the pull, which put some media publications into speculation mode; was there a deeper significance to that extended handshake? According to Macron, the answer is, “Oui!”

“My handshake with him, it’s not innocent,” Macron told the Journal du Dimanche in an interview published Sunday. “It’s not the alpha and the omega of politics, but a moment of truth.”

Aides say Трамп is considering sending an aircraft carrier group to France to deal with the situation, but will need to check in with Vladimir Putin first.

————

NBC News is reporting that in the aftermath of multiple reports of his extensive, elicit, direct ties with various figures in the Russian government that Jared “The Kush” Kushner is being asked to, “lay low.”

An anonymous source inside the Трамп regime told NBC News that he must “lay low” because of revelations that Kushner sought to set up a secret back-channel with Russia. Separately, another White House regime official, who really doesn’t like Kushner and spoke on condition of anonymity, told NBC News that at least one staffer was speechless when they learned about reports of a purported Russia back channel.

“This mook, he’s gotta lay low, see, he’s gotta avoid the mugs in the press, see, else they’ll put the screws on him, and then he might sing like a canary and the jig’ll be up for all of us!” the staffer said, speaking like an old-timey gangster.

Sean Spicer is expected to hold a press conference this week to talk about this new “old-timey gangstar talk,” policy adopted by the Трамп regime, just as soon as he can find his way out of the White House bushes.

————

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has returned to Washington, D.C., after a 9 day overseas trip where he, at times, was almost nearly Presidential before messing up the whole thing by doing things like shoving the President of Montenegro out of the way to get in the front line for a photo op or trying his strange handshake rituals. The least Presidential thing Трамп did was to prove to the U.S.’s European allies that he’s a completely unreliable partner, especially (as German Chancellor Angela Merkel pointed out) on issues of climate change.

So, Donald Трамп returns the United States to a flurry of subpoenas sought against his various aides and associates for their own Russia investigations, a volatile Congress and Senate that has, among other things, a disastrous #Trumpcare bill to push, and his desire to cut his own taxes while simultaneously pulling $800 billion from Medicaid. The last one breaks one of his primary campaign promises from his presidential campaign.

When asked about this political firestorm, Трамп reportedly pointed to the problem of leaks in his administration as the most important thing to worry about. Of course, as many have pointed, Трамп himself is the source of many of these leaks, along with people in his own regime.

I guess living in such a disastrous, self-made situation would explain this tweet from Трамп earlier today …

“I look forward to paying my respects to our brave men and women on this Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery later this morning.”

I mean, your life is pretty low when the big highlight for your day is a trip to a cemetery. Still, when you use social media like a 14-year old girl as a grown man, life can be pretty tough. After all, like Трамп himself said, “People have been forced to resign positions for far less than @JonahNRO’s “tweeting like a 14 year old girl.””

It’s day 129 of the Trump regime, folks!

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Macron explains his tense handshake with Trump
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/28/politics/emmanuel-macron-donald-trump/index.html

Kushner Asked to ‘Lay Low’ After Russia-Related Reports, Source Says
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/kushner-lying-low-after-russia-related-reports-source-says-n765686

President Trump shoved the Montenegro prime minister at NATO
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/05/25/president-trump-shoved-montenegro-prime-minister-nato/102144808/

Angela Merkel says it was ‘right’ to confront Donald Trump over climate change
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-climate-change-angela-merkel-confront-differences-g7-summit-paris-agreement-a7761701.html

Trump returns to political challenges, from Russia inquiry to health care
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/05/29/donald-trump-russia-g-7/102234540/

I look forward to paying my respects to our brave men and women on this Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery later this morning.
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/869170615881793536

“People have been forced to resign positions for far less than @JonahNRO’s “tweeting like a 14 year old girl.”
https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/590605572040486912

How long has Donald Trump been President
http://howlonghasdonaldtrumpbeenpresident.com/

————

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.05.24

While popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп fumbles his way through his first overseas trip as President, House Speaker and Трамп regime lapdog Paul Ryan is stretching his wings as the Axios News Shapers event in Washington, D.C. Ryan told Mike Allen of Axios’ that he Donald Трамп is wrong about his assertion that FBI Director James Comey is a “nut job.”

“Yeah, I don’t agree with that,” Ryan told the crowd. Ryan also added, “I like Jim Comey.”

Aides say that Ryan will deny he disagreed with Трамп later this afternoon, and will plan on calling Comey a nut job himself tomorrow morning.

———

House Republicans leaders passed the American Health Care Act three weeks ago without waiting for the Congressional Budget Office, the nonpartisan agency responsible for scrutinizing legislation, to evaluate its effects. After the historic vote, the Republican Congress went to the White House and drank canned beer.

But today’s the day for the CBO to deliver its score on the latest version of the American Health Care Act. The last score from the CBO let the American people know that the AHCA would leave 24 million more people without insurance, and increase premiums for people, including 64-year-old Americans earning $26,500 or less, who would pay an additional $12,900 in premiums every year to purchase insurance.

Aides in Congress say that the Republicans plan to trash the CBO score, unless it’s favorable to their cause of removing health insurance from millions of Americans, in which case they plan to celebrate with more beer at the White House while the place is empty.

———

Speaking of hurting poor people by taking away benefits, the 2018 budget from the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп promises $2 trillion in tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans, while taking away benefits from the poorest of them.

This includes $800 billion cuts to Medicaid, despite promises from Трамп in May of 2015, and on his website, that, “I’m not going to cut Social Security like every other Republican and I’m not going to cut Medicare or Medicaid.” Trump officials have removed this statement from his website, but you can still read it on archive.org at – https://web.archive.org/web/20161130191040/https://www.donaldjtrump.com/media/why-donald-trump-wont-touch-your-entitlements

When asked whether his supporters will realize that he’s broken his promise, a White House aide cracked open a beer and said, “Hey, ask us in a week when he gets back, in the meantime, spread the word, party at the Oval Office, full kegs. $5 a head. Ted Nugent is playing at midnight.” Before anyone could ask a follow-up question, the phone hung up.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Paul Ryan: James Comey is not a nut job
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/24/politics/nut-job-trump-james-comey-paul-ryan/index.html

Congressional Budget Report Could Upset GOP Efforts to Repeal Obamacare
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/report-could-upset-gop-efforts-repeal-obamacare-n763676

Trump budget hard on ‘forgotten’ rural American supporters
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/05/23/trump-budget-hard-forgotten-rural-american-supporters/102065680/

The Medicare Killers
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/18/opinion/the-medicare-killers.html?_r=0

404 Page Not Found
https://www.donaldjtrump.com/media/why-donald-trump-wont-touch-your-entitlements

– MAY 21, 2015 – | WHY DONALD TRUMP WONT TOUCH YOUR ENTITLEMENTS
https://web.archive.org/web/20161130191040/https://www.donaldjtrump.com/media/why-donald-trump-wont-touch-your-entitlements

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.05.10

Yesterday, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп fired FBI Director James “But Her Emails!” Comey, vaguely describing problems with his handling of Hillary Clinton’s emails.

Unmentioned by Трамп was that on Monday of this week, FBI Director Comey had requested more funds for the ongoing FBI probe into Russian influence of the 2016 elections and on the regime of Donald Трамп.

When asked about this discrepancy, the Department of Justice denied that Comey had requested those funds.

In related news, the ghost of Richard Nixon quietly smiled as he realized history may soon come to remember him as only the second most corrupt President in the history of the United States.

———

Current Vice-President and possible head vampire Mike Pence defended the regime of Donald Трамп from accusations that they had improperly fired FBI Director James Comey. Head Vampire Pence reportedly said that firing Comey was the, “right decision, right time.”

As analysts have pointed out, had the firing of Comey waited a few more weeks, his agency may have uncovered deep ties between Russia and the Трамп regime, so … can’t let that happen.

———

Speaking of the slow erosion of our Constitutional Government, a reported in West Virginia was arrested for asking Health and Human Services secretary Tom Price questions.

Daniel Ralph Heyman, 54, with the Public News Service of West Virginia, was arrested for “willful disruption of government processes,” according to a criminal complaint. The veteran reporter was shouting questions to the secretary about whether domestic violence would be considered a pre-existing condition under the proposed American Health Care Act.

In response, several progressives and moderate liberals sought reasons why Heyman’s arrest would be reasonable. One anonymous moderate said, “Well, let’s get both sides of the story, if someone is yelling, that could be scary.” Another moderate said, “Yeah, this isn’t as black and white as people are making it. If it’s black and white, it’s the government curtailing the first amendment rights of a reporter in plain site. But, if it’s murky, we can pretend that’s not happening.”

The group of moderates and counter-factual citizens sought further assurances that there was nothing to worry about, and decided to watch episodes of Rachel Ray later in the day in response.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump latest: Live updates on FBI Director Comey’s firing
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/10/politics/trump-fires-comey-latest/index.html

Pence Calls Comey Firing ‘Right Decision’ as Democrats Pounce
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/democrats-charge-comey-firing-nixonian-demand-special-prosecutor-n757121

Va. reporter arrested for ‘yelling questions’ at HHS secretary
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/05/10/w-virginia-reporter-arrested-yelling-questions-visiting-hhs-secretary-tom-price/101503242/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.02

Senator John McCain was recently interviewed and asked if he saw a comparison between popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп and Ronald Reagan.

“No, I don’t,” he told David Axelrod on “The Axe Files,” a podcast from the University of Chicago Institute of Politics and CNN. “I am more worried about this country than I’ve been in my entire lifetime.”

When asked if he was worried enough to more actively oppose the agenda of the Трамп regime, McCain said, “Uh DOY, of course not.”

———

Representative Adam Schiff of California, currently the top-ranking Democrat on the House intelligence committee said Sunday that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s claims about illegal wiretapping and news leaks are an attempt to distract people from the overall investigation into possible collusion between the Трамп campaign and Russians who sought to influence last year’s election.

“… whenever they see (Трамп) use the word ‘fake,’ it ought to set off alarm bells,” said Schiff on CNN’s State of the Union

So, if you see a White House press release that says, “Ignore any fake reports you hear about us launching nuclear missiles at Canada, Fake News!” get in a bunker.

———

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, a Democrat from New York, believes that, “Gorsuch will not reach the 60-vote margin” needed to overcome a filibuster. Gorsuch is the Supreme Court nominee put up popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. The Senate still has not given a hearing to Judge Merrick Garland, nominated over a year ago by then President Barack Obama.

Schumer said that if there aren’t 60 votes, Трамп and the Republicans should, “try to come up with a mainstream nominee. Look, when a nominee doesn’t get 60 votes, you shouldn’t change the rules, you should change the nominee.”

An exasperated Sean “Sphicnter” Spicer took the podium to roll his eyes and sigh a lot in response. “Look, do you guys realize how hard it is to find real people with plausible sounding supervillain names? We have Gorka, Gorsuch, Bannon … we sound like a collection of James Bond villains from the last 60 years. We’re running out of people with weird, clearly villainous names, people. Why can’t you give us a break?”

Spicer then laid down underneath his podium to take a nap.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

McCain: No comparison between Trump and Reagan
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/01/politics/john-mccain-axe-files/index.html

Schiff: Trump trying to shift attention from Russia probe
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/04/02/schiff-tump-trying-shift-attention-russia-probe-john-mccan/99950962/

Sen. Schumer Says It’s Unlikely Gorsuch Will Reach 60 Votes
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/sen-schumer-says-it-s-unlikely-gorsuch-will-reach-60-n741736

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.03.14

A fierce winter storm is pummeling the East Coast of the United States, dumping record levels of snow at an unusual time of year. Elected officials everywhere are working hard to help people deal with the disaster. Except at the White House!

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп did go to Twitter and talk about a meeting he had with Washington, D.C.’s Mayor and other local elected officials there, but nothing about disaster relief or any pledges of aid for the east coast or anything, because, pff, why would Трамп start doing his job NOW, it’s a snow day!

———

Boa Esporte, a Brazilian second division team, have signed goalkeeper Bruno Fernandes de Souza following his release from prison for the murder of his girlfriend and the subsequent feeding of her body to his dogs.

Reportedly, Souza signed with Esporte after turning down a job to the new U.S. envoy for women’s rights. “We just thought he had the right attitude to work in the Трамп White House,” said an anonymous spokesperson.

———

Speaking of sociopaths working for popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, Secretary of State Rex “I May Be A Demon Wearing A Human Skin Suit” Tillerson is in the news, over a recent discovery that the former Exxon CEO used the alias ‘Wayne Tracker’ to send and receive information about Climate Change from 2008 through 2015.

If you recall, Donald Трамп himself also had a similar habit, posing as John Miller, John Baron and John Barron on numerous occasions with a variety of journalists from at least 1980-1991. Трамп  would act as a fake source for unsuspecting reporters in order to plant positive media coverage of himself.

White House Sources say that Sean “Sphincter” Spicer is thinking of using the alias, “Stud Manflesh,” because, “All the cool people in the White House use fake names!”

Rumors say that Kellyanne Conway will continue to use her real name, because nobody believes her anyway.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Winter storm live blog: Fierce winds, snow pummel the Northeast
http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/14/us/blizzard-live-blog/index.html

Meeting w/ Washington, D.C. @MayorBowser and Metro GM Paul Wiedefeld about incoming winter storm preparations here in D.C. Everyone be safe!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/841422186573369345

BRUNO SIGNS FOR BOA ESPORTE AFTER RELEASE FROM PRISON FOR GIRLFRIEND’S MURDER
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2697875-bruno-signs-for-boa-esporte-after-release-from-prison-for-girlfriends-murder?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial

Tillerson Used Email Alias as Exxon CEO to Talk Climate Change
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/tillerson-used-email-alias-exxon-ceo-talk-climate-change-n733201

Donald Trump’s Long, Strange History of Using Fake Names
http://fortune.com/2016/05/18/donald-trump-fake-names/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.03.01

Yesterday, newly installed Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III warned Americans that, unless something is done quickly, we’ll be living in an America with, “marijuana sold at every corner grocery store”

Every stoner in America responded with, “Right on!” Reportedly, a few wondered if Taco Trucks would also soon be available on every corner.

———

Van Jones, noted CNN gadfly and pundit, said that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, “became President of the United States in that moment, period,” when Трамп honored a widowed NAVY Seal whose husband died in a botched raid in Yemen ordered by Трамп.

At that same moment, several people around the country said, “That was the moment Van Jones started his nervous breakdown.” A few moments later, Jones (and this is not a joke) gave Jeffrey Lord a kiss on the cheek. As a reminder, Jeffrey Lord has regularly espoused White Nationalist rhetoric on CNN, albeit with a friendly face and ‘toned down’ speech.

Here’s wishing for a speedy recovery for Van Jones.

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White House Bureau Chief at The Washington Post and probable mayonnaise lover Philip Rucker took to Twitter to, like many of his white dude brethren, heap praise on popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s speech to Congress yesterday.

Rucker tweeted, “This is the best morning of Donald Trump’s presidency. He is basking in positive pundit reviews. All that tumult feels like yesteryear.”

Why, it does feel like yesterday, that Трамп was saying Jews might be responsible for calling in phony bomb threats against synagogues, destroying their cemeteries, and that Трамп was calling the media the Enemy of the American people, because all of that literally happened yesterday, before the speech.
———

In a sick way, Трамп did become Presidential last night, if you regress back far enough with our presidents. Think Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. He’s right in line with that guy so far, except it’s the 21st century.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Jeff Sessions Warns Of An America With ‘Marijuana Sold At Every Corner Grocery Store’
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jeff-sessions-warns-america-marijuana-grocery-store_us_58b58d8de4b0a8a9b7863d93?

Van Jones on Trump: ‘He became President of the United States in that moment, period’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/01/politics/van-jones-trump-congress-speech-became-the-president-in-that-moment-cnntv/index.html

This is the best morning of Donald Trump’s presidency. He is basking in positive pundit reviews. All that tumult feels like yesteryear.
https://twitter.com/PhilipRucker/status/836922372326371332

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.02.27

So far, 2017 has been a year of historic firsts. First billionaire dummy President, first time the President’s National Security Advisor resigned after less than one month into a Presidency, and now the first time that the winner of the Oscar for Best Picture was called out incorrectly during a live broadcast!

That’s right, last night, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway called out “La La Land” as the winner for best picture. “La La Land” producer Jordan Horowitz, amidst confusion, then snatched the Best Picture winner envelope from host Jimmy Kimmel and said, “I’m sorry, there’s a mistake. ‘Moonlight,’ you guys won best picture.”

At that exact moment, millions of voters around the country said simultaneously, “Does that guy also have the right envelope for the 2016 Presidential Election?”

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Speaking of stuff that’s never really happened before, did you hear the latest whoa and woe for the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп? It turns out that Трамп’s pick for Secretary of the Navy, Philip Bilden withdrew himself from the nomination after he realized he, “will not be able to satisfy the Office of Government Ethics requirements.”

That’s the second time one of Трамп’s nominees had to withdraw due to conflicts with the office of Ethics.

Somehow still in office despite numerous conflicts over ethics:  Donald Трамп!

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In other world dictator news, five senior North Korean security officials were recently executed using anti-aircraft cannons for reporting “Fake News” that enraged supreme leader Kim Jong Un.

In related news, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has requested anti-aircraft cannons be installed in the White House Press Room.

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Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп met with several insurance company executives today to talk about Obamacare. The result of the meeting? Трамп came to the conclusion that Health Care is a difficult problem in the United States.

Speaking to reporters, Трамп said, “Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.”

Sources say at that moment, every member of Трамп’s staff put their hands behind their backs, looked away, and started to whistle.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Epic Oscars flub: What went wrong
http://money.cnn.com/2017/02/27/media/oscars-pwc-best-picture/index.html

Navy Secretary Nominee Philip Bilden Withdraws
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/navy-secretary-nominee-withdraws_us_58b36fa7e4b0a8a9b7833b52?whi9ajh5kuj6ob6gvi&

Report: N. Korea executes officials with anti-aircraft guns for ‘enraging’ Kim Jong Un
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/02/27/report-n-korea-executes-officials-enraging-kim-jong-un/98468748/

TRUMP: “Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.”
https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/836239036742164481