YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.12

Former President George W Bush said he is “disturbed” by the abuse of immigrants taking place in the United States.

Bush said he’d be less disturbed by it if he was still President.

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Ohio authorities dropped charges against adult film star Stormy Daniels just hours after she was arrested during a performance at a Columbus strip club. She was arrested for letting a patron touch her without permission.

Never arrested for touching women without their permission? Still Donald Трамп!

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Massive protests are planning to greet Donald Трамп during his state visit to the United Kingdom. The protests include a giant balloon in the shape of him as a baby, vulgar crop circles, and a gathering of a few hundred thousand people.

Трамп plans to file a grievance over these incidents with his manager, Vladimir Putin.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

George W. Bush ‘disturbed’ by current US immigration debate
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/12/politics/george-w-bush-bill-clinton-presidential-leadership-scholars/index.html

Sex-offense charges against Stormy Daniels dropped just hours after arrest
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/stormy-daniels-arrested-strip-club-charged-sex-offenses-n890791

‘@#$%! Trump’: Crop circle vulgarity to greet president as he flies to UK prime minister
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2018/07/12/crop-circle-vulgarity-carved-into-field-along-trumps-uk-flight-path/778127002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.02.04

Miguel Perez Jr., a US Army veteran who served two tours of duty in Afghanistan, will be deported by the Трамп due to a felony drug conviction in 2010.

When asked to comment, Donald Трамп said, “Well, that’s what he gets for fighting for his country! He should’ve done what I did, and get out of it by pretending he had bone spurs,” before he was quickly led out of the room by General John Kelly.

Aides say that Kelly plans to take away The Donald’s ice cream privileges for the month, “to remind him to stay on script.”

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Former CIA Director John Brennan said House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes “abused” his office by issuing a memo with intelligence information.

Congressional staffers say that Nunes also likes to abuse himself in the bathroom every time he hears his name in the news.

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It’s the Superbowl today! Whoever wins, just know, there’s probably going to be a riot led by white people that gets called, “excited celebration,” by every news outlet, except for in black neighborhoods where local police will probably show up with tear gas.

Enjoy eating a whole jar of Queso!

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Veteran who served two tours in Afghanistan could be deported
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/04/us/ice-possible-deportation-veteran/index.html

Ex-CIA Director Brennan says Nunes “abused” his office with memo
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/ex-cia-director-brennan-says-nunes-abused-his-office-memo-n844536

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.12

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said the US is ready to talk with North Korea without preconditions.

However, Donald Трамп said the US is ready to, “LAUNCH THE NUKES RIGHT NOW DIE LITTLE CHUBBY MAN DIE!”

White House staff are mostly certain that Трамп was talking about Kim Jong Un and not himself.

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Absentee votes cast by Melania and Ivanka Трамп were invalidated by city officials due to strange errors on their ballots, according to the New York City Board of Elections.

Sources say that Melania’s ballot was invalidated because she wrote on the top, “I vote for my big daddy in all things including being mister sexy man alive people magazine!”

Ivanka’s was invalidated for the same reason.

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Donald Трамп signed a $700 billion defense policy bill Tuesday, then complained that the bill targets Russia too much.

The bill …

  • Restricts Military cooperation with Russia
  • Prohibits the US from recognizing Russia’s claim that it owns the Crimea
  • Requires the US military to develop and implement a strategy to counter threats by Russia

Трамп later calmed down when aides let him know that it’s still legal for him to go to Russia and hire prostitutes to pee on a bed.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Tillerson says US won’t set preconditions for North Korea talks
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/12/politics/tillerson-north-korea-no-preconditions-talks/index.html

Melania and Ivanka Trumps’ botched NYC mayor votes thrown out
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/trump-family-members-botched-nyc-mayor-votes-thrown-out-n828861

Imperfecto: Trump objects to Russia provisions as he signs $700 billion defense bill
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/12/12/trump-signing-statement-russia-provisions-defense-bill/943209001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.10

Jerry Moore, brother of Alabama GOP Senate candidate and child molestor Roy Moore, said his brother is being persecuted just like Jesus Christ.

Breaking News: Jerry Moore called Jesus a Pedophile!

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Former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn was offered $15 million by Turkish officials to kidnap a Turkish political dissident hiding in the United States. The meeting happened a few weeks before Donald Трамп’s inauguration a few blocks from Donald Трамп Tower.

When asked about this, a spokesperson for the White House said, “Hey, for $15 million, I’d tell everyone state secrets like how Трамп’s hairpiece works.”

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Due to an issue with his immigration status, former world heavyweight champion boxer Mike Tyson was sent home from Chile.

After arriving home and disembarking from the plane, Mike Tyson was also denied entry to the airport Chilis.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Moore’s brother denies charges, compares persecution to Jesus
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/10/politics/jerry-moore-martin-savidge-interview-roy-moore-sexual-misconduct/index.html

Mueller Probing Possible Deal Between Turks, Flynn During Presidential Transition
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/mueller-probing-possible-deal-between-turks-flynn-during-presidential-transition-n819616

Mike Tyson denied entry to Chile, sent home
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/boxing/2017/11/10/mike-tyson-denied-entry-chile-sent-home/851684001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.31

After George Papadopoulos was arrested by the FBI, Donald Трамп described him as a “low-level volunteer.” During the 2016 campaign, however, Трамп described Papadopoulos, as an “excellent guy” for his foreign policy staff.

Aides believe that by Tuesday, Трамп will describe Papadopoulous as, “that guy on that old TV show, Webster.”

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Donald Трамп also reportedly called George Papadopoulos as a “liar”

People on the scene reported that when Трамп made the comment, he was looking in a mirror.

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John Kelly described Confederate War general Robert E. Lee as, “an honorable man,” and said that the Civil War was not fought over slavery, but over an inability to compromise.

Reports say that Kelly also believes that Adolf Hitler was just, “misunderstood.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump dismisses Papadopoulos as ‘low-level volunteer’ but once touted him
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/31/politics/donald-trump-george-papadopoulos/index.html

Trump Rips Mueller Target Papadopoulos as ‘Liar,’ ‘Low Level Volunteer’
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-rips-mueller-target-papadopoulos-liar-low-level-volunteer-n815946

John Kelly says Civil War was caused by ‘lack of the ability to compromise’; Twitter has words
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/10/31/john-kelly-says-civil-war-caused-lack-ability-compromise-twitter-has-words/816266001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.30

In court records unsealed on Monday, Трамп campaign foreign policy adviser George Papadopoulos plead guilty in July after he lied to the FBI about his interactions with foreign officials close to the Russian government.

When asked for a comment, Sarah Huckabee Sanders replied, “I can’t hear you LALALALALA.”

Sources on the scene say Sanders also had her fingers in her ears.

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Former Donald Трамп campaign manager Paul Manafort and his longtime business partner Rick Gates were indicted for a lot of charges including treason by special counsel Robert Mueller’s office announced Monday.

In response to this news, Donald Трамп has decided to wander around the White House, stuffing his pockets with silverware, historical artifacts and a fake passport.

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Donald Трамп reacted to the indictment of his former campaign chairman Monday by tweeting.

“Sorry, but this is years ago, before Paul Manafort was part of the Trump campaign,” Trump said in a tweet. “But why aren’t Crooked Hillary & the Dems the focus?????”

“Also,” he continued. “There is NO COLLUSION!”

Aides to the Трамп Regime say that later on, Donald Трамп will tweet …

 

  • “Why aren’t we talking about how badly The Apprentice did without me?”
  • “Let’s cut taxes NOW! I do not golf! You konw who golfed a lot? Obama but you don’t hear about that!”
  • “WE HAE RPUELIBCNA UNITY #MAGA”

 

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Ex-Trump campaign adviser pleads guilty to making false statement
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/30/politics/paul-manafort-russia-investigation-surrender/index.html

Manafort, Gates Charged With Conspiracy in Mueller Investigation
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/paul-manafort-rick-gates-told-surrender-special-prosecutor-probe-n815536

After Paul Manafort indictment, Trump points finger at Hillary Clinton
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/10/30/trump-manafort-indictment-response-clinton/812799001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.20

According to CNN.com, White House chief of staff General John Kelly on Thursday erroneously claimed that Representative Frederica Wilson (D-FL), claimed credit for securing “$20 million” in federal funding to build a new FBI field office in Miami in 2015. Video of the speech made it clear that Wilson did not claim credit for helping to fund the building, according to the video.

When asked why CNN.com described the Kelly’s claim as ‘erroneous’ instead of simply ‘a lie’ a spokesperson for the news organization said, “I have to look into a claim about Hillary Clinton’s emails,” then abruptly walked into a bathroom.

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A senior congressional aide who has been briefed on the deaths of four U.S. servicemen in Niger says the ambush by militants stemmed in part from a “massive intelligence failure.”

When asked if the massive intelligence failure was literally due to Donald Трамп’s massive lack of intelligence, the source nodded yes then took a sip of their Coke Zero.

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A video taken by a man remodeling a house in Oregon shows federal immigration agents arresting his co-worker, even though they acknowledged they lacked a warrant to enter the home. Entering a house without a warrant is illegal.

When asked about this, a spokesperson for ICE said by phone that, “a lot of things are illegal but we do it anyway, welcome to Трампistan!”

When a reporter asked the spokesperson if they were Donald Трамп, the call abruptly ended.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Kelly erroneously claimed congresswoman took credit for building funding, video shows
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/20/politics/frederica-wilson-john-kelly-video/index.html

Niger Ambush Came After ‘Massive Intelligence Failure,’ Source Says
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/africa/source-niger-attack-resulted-massive-intelligence-failure-n812626

Warrantless ICE arrest of man inside house under investigation
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/10/20/warrantless-ice-arrest-under-investigation/786215001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.29

South Korea’s air force has staged a live-fire drill simulating the destruction of North Korea’s leadership, hours after Pyongyang launched a ballistic missile over Japan.

Donald Трамп was very excited by the news, and said he was hopeful that a war with North Korea would generate bigger TV ratings than the devastation from Hurricane Harvey.

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According to NBC News, special counsel Robert Mueller’s team is focused on Donald Трамп’s role in writing a response to a published article about a meeting between a Russian spy and his son Donald Jr.. Prosecutors want to know what Трамп knew about the meeting and whether he sought to conceal its purpose.

Kellyanne Conway dismissed the news, saying, “Everybody knows Donald Трамп can’t write.”

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Houstonians received a sliver of good news Tuesday as Tropical Storm Harvey continued its easterly trudge toward Louisiana, easing the pounding rains that have swallowed the city.

Donald Трамп said he was happy about the new direction for the storm. He told reporters, “Y’know, Louisana, that was purchased from someone by a President. Did you know that? Fascinating. They have New Orleans, they have food with shrimp, it’s a great city. Football. Great city, great city folks. And now they’ll get some of the pounding Houston got. Let ‘em get pounded. Not that kind of pounded, folks, not that kind of pounded. Great city. We serve shrimp at Mar-A-Lago, too.”

Трамп eventually wandered away from the press conference and disappeared into a White House bathroom.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

South Korea holds live-fire drills that simulate destroying North Korea’s leadership
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/29/asia/north-korea-south-korea-bombing/index.html

Mueller Team Asking If Trump Tried to Hide Purpose of Trump Tower Meeting
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/mueller-team-asking-if-trump-tried-hide-purpose-trump-tower-n796746

Houston gets a sliver of hope as rain moves away — for now
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2017/08/29/rain-river-thousands-stranded-hurricane-harvey-continues-pummel-houston/611143001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.26

 

Senate Republicans voted Tuesday afternoon to advance to floor debate on their effort to hurt millions of people by repealing the Affordable Care Act thanks to a tie-breaking from Vice President and probable head vampire Mike Pence. Senator John McCain, recently diagnosed with brain cancer, returned to the Senate to vote to help ensure a tie-vote that Pence could break. It looked like Pence had the Senate in his thrall …

… But then a few hours later, the Senate voted 43 to 57 to decisively reject a Republican proposal to repeal-and-replace Obamacare, a sign of the chaos expected to envelop Capitol Hill as GOP leaders work to find a plan their conference can agree to.

Experts say that Pence plans to visit several Republican Senators in the middle of the night to drain their blood, in order to put them more closely under his thrall.

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Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп declassified a secret CIA program to arm Syrian rebels in a series of tweets attacking The Washington Post Monday night.

Трамп tweeted, “The Amazon Washington Post fabricated the facts on my ending massive, dangerous, and wasteful payments to Syrian rebels fighting Assad……” He went on to call the Post’s stories “Fake News” and accused the paper of being a “Lobbyist for Amazon and taxes.”

White House aides say that Трамп is planning to declassify other secret U.S. programs, but needs to confer with his manager, Russian President Vladimir Putin, on which program is the most important to reveal first.

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Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is “taking a little time off,” according to State Department spokeswoman Heather Nauert. The announcement was made amid reports that Tillerson was resigning as Secretary of State.

The State Department said that former Exxon CEO Tillerson just needs, “3, maybe 4 years to recuperate,” before he’d even THINK of going back to work.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Senate rejects proposal to repeal and replace Obamacare
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/25/politics/senate-health-care-vote/index.html

Did Trump Declassify a Secret CIA Program With a Tweet?http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/did-trump-just-declassify-secret-cia-program-tweet-n786381

Sec. of State Tillerson ‘taking a little time off’ but not resigning
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/07/25/rex-tillerson-taking-little-time-off/510355001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.11

 

An email sent to Donald Трамп Jr. last year stated that a Russian lawyer had “compromising” information about Hillary Clinton as “part of a Russian government effort” to help the Трамп campaign, The New York Times reported Monday. This email was part of the reason Трамп met with the attorney.

The White House said that since the story was about emails, it’s clear that Hillary Clinton must have been involved.
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Russian lawyer  Natalia Veselnitskaya, who met with Donald Трамп Jr. during the presidential campaign, denied that she had any connection to the Kremlin and insists she met with President Donald Трамп’s son to press her client’s interest in the Magnitsky Act — not to hand over information about Hillary Clinton’s campaign.

Natalia Veselnitskaya is best known as a strong supporter of Russian President Vladimir Putin, and as the personal lawyer for Denis Katsyv, who has paid out millions of dollars in the wake of money-laundering cases brought by authorities in the U.S. and Israel. Some of the financial-crime cases brought against Katsyv allege that his company profited from the $230 million fraud uncovered by Sergei Magnitsky, a lawyer who was beaten to death while in Russian custody. The beating death of Sergei Magnitsky is what led to the US Magnitsky Act.

“I never had any damaging or sensitive information about Hillary Clinton. It was never my intention to have that,” Veselnitskaya said through an interpreter.

No one is sure if it’s better that Veselnitskaya was trying to press Donald Трамп Jr, Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner to overturn a US anti-Russian money-laundering law.

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In other news, it turns out that the ICBM that North Korea launched last week may not be as international as was initially reported by the North Korean government. According to the Yonhap news agency in South Korea, no one has been able to independently verify whether last week’s launch successfully re-entered the atmosphere.

North Korea is planning to claim that the missile actually struck the coast of Alaska. Sarah Palin will later report that she saw the missile strike her backyard, which is why we need to fund the wall along the Mexico border.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

NYT: Email to Trump Jr. cites Russian government effort to help Trump campaign
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/10/politics/donald-trump-jr-natalia-veselnitskaya/index.html

Russian Lawyer Who Met With Trump Jr.: I Didn’t Have Clinton Info They Wanted
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/russian-lawyer-who-met-trump-jr-i-didn-t-have-n781631

North Korea missile may not have re-entered atmosphere, report says
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/07/11/north-korea-missile-may-not-have-re-entered-atmosphere-report-says/467001001/

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