YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.05.05

It looks like a protest in New York City chased away popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, who has decided to go to Bedminister, New Jersey this weekend instead.

Yesterday, protesters gathered in Manhattan’s West Side to let Трамп know how they felt about him, chanting about his policies on everything from immigration to health care. In response, Трамп left for New Jersey this morning.

On Twitter, Трамп claimed, “Rather than causing a big disruption in N.Y.C., I will be working out of my home in Bedminster, N.J. this weekend. Also saves country money!”

In related news, a small Earthquake was reported in midtown Manhattan minutes after that tweet from Трамп. Scientists say the quake was caused by a simultaneous hard eyeroll from several million New York citizens.

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Speaking of the Трамп regime, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has fired Chief Usher Angella Reid, the first African American woman to hold the position. The Chief Usher is head of household staff and operations at the White House.

Reid, formerly the General Manager of the Pentagon City Ritz-Carlton, was hired in October 2011 and is the 9th person to hold the job. Ms. Reid replaced Admiral Stephen W. Rochon, the first African-American man to hold the position, after he left for a job with Homeland Security.

White House aides speaking on condition of anonymity aren’t sure why Reid was fired, and listed one of four possible reasons.

  • Too Black
  • Too Woman
  • Worked for Ritz-Carlton, a Трамп competitor
  • All of the Above

Reports say Ivanka Трамп was considered for the job, but that the first daughter felt, “all gross,” about the idea of working.

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Speaking of gross, a deadly fungus described as a “superbug” is infiltrating U.S. hospitals, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The fungus, called Candida auris, enters the bloodstream, spreads throughout the body and causes a variety of infections. More than 60 cases have been identified in the U.S., all but a few of them in New York and New Jersey.

When informed about the deadly pathogen, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп said, “We have to stop these Canadian Hair Bugs!” and promptly ordered the Joint Chiefs of Staff to plan bombing Ontario.

No word yet on whether Трамп will also bomb Vancouver or Toronto in response to the fungus.

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Man, Трамп is just so nakedly gross and racist. Most people don’t raise their kids to be that way, and don’t want to be part of families like that. Some do, though. Typically families where they have a super strict dad at the ‘top’ of the family, dictating the rules and how the world really is. I guess that’s what some people like about Трамп and a few other politicians like him. He’s like a dad that, like, insists, “Everyone in the family needs to put Peanut Butter on your hamburger! We’re a peanut butter on your cheeseburger kind of family!” Even if you think it’s gross, you have to eat peanut butter on your hamburger.

I know a few of you are like, that’s delicious! But, you have issues, don’t put peanut butter on your cheeseburger. Or do, I really don’t mind, I’m all about … hey, you wanna put peanut butter on your cheeseburger, go for it. You be you! Just don’t make me put peanut butter on my cheeseburger. That’s the kind of family I dig, the one where going your own way doesn’t mean everyone stops loving you. I think most people are like that.

Which is why I still find it astonishing how many folks are cheering on this bad health care bill! It’s like, “Dad says it’s good for us!” so a lot of folks are going right along with it, whether they realize it or not. And the rest of us know, “I think Dad is trying to convince us to set fire to the family car, that’s a bad idea.”

So, make sure to call your Congressperson and your Senators! The disasterous new health care bill that passed the House yesterday is NOT YET LAW. It still has to pass through the Senate. The bill passed yesterday by 4 Congress people; had just 2 of them voted No, the bill wouldn’t have passed. Had all 4 abstained, the bill wouldn’t have passed.

In the Senate, out of 100 Senators, there are 52 Senate Republicans. If 3 of them, just 3, vote No, and the remaining Democrats and Independents also vote No, the bill will not move forward.

Make your voice count! You can do it, if you try!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Anti-Trump protesters turn out in droves to cast shadow over the President’s homecoming in Manhattan
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/manhattan/protesters-rally-trump-nyc-president-homecoming-article-1.3137857

Rather than causing a big disruption in N.Y.C., I will be working out of my home in Bedminster, N.J. this weekend. Also saves country money!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/860479885566980096

White House Parts Ways With First Female Chief Usher
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/white-house-parts-ways-first-female-chief-usher-n755426

Deadly ‘superbug’ fungus emerging in U.S. hospitals
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/05/04/deadly-superbug-fungus-emerging-us-hospitals/101282320/