YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.12

A torch wielding mob of loud white supremacists marched through the University of Virginia campus Friday night.

Experts on CNN said that those torch wielding protestors were just feeling economic anxiety about emails.

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A recent report by NBC News noted that Texas’ maternal mortality rates are 35.8 per 100,000 live births as of 2014, according to a study in Obstetrics and Gynecology. In contrast maternal mortality in Japan was 5 per 100,000 live births in 2015. In Poland, it was just 3.

And while black mothers make up just 11 percent of Texas’ live births, they account for nearly 29 percent of the maternal deaths, the report found in 2016.

When it was suggested that maybe black women are under more stress than everyone else due to facing pressure from racism and sexism so perhaps that’s affecting maternal health, a Texas GOP law-maker coughed, tipped his cowboy hat, then rode away on a horse in a cloud of dust.

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Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп called the governor of Guam to reassure him that his island is safe from nuclear attack by North Korea.

Guam’s Governor Eddie Calvo posted a speaker-phone video on his Facebook page, where Трамп says, “We are with you a thousand percent … You are safe.”

When asked how the U.S. could stop a nuclear weapon already in flight to hit Guam, Трамп hung up. Reports say that he had to go play golf.

Aides for the Трамп regime dispute that account, and say that Трамп hung up because it was time for his ice-cream. “He’s on vacation, so he gets three scoops,” Steve Bannon said from the dungeon sarcophagus he sleeps in regularly to conserve his strength.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Charlottesville remains on edge ahead of ‘Unite the Right’ rally
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/12/us/charlottesville-white-nationalists-rally/index.html

Texas Has the Highest Maternal Mortality Rate in the Developed World. Why?http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/texas-has-highest-maternal-mortality-rate-developed-world-why-n791671

Trump assures Guam governor, says ‘We’re behind you 1,000 percent’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/08/12/trump-assures-guam-governor-says-were-behind-you-1-000-percent/561807001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.29

 

White House chief of staff Reince Priebus handed in his resignation to popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп yesterday.

Priebus has a new job lined up marketing his line of shampoo for dogs.

“Does your dog smell horrible? Try Reince Priebus to get your cocker-spaniel smelling great! Yes, Reince Priebus can get the stink out of anything!”

Sources say that Reince Priebus dog shampoo can’t actually get the stink out of anything.

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Retired Marine General and current Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly is the new White House chief of staff for Donald Трамп. Reports say he’s planning to inject discipline into the team.

An anonymous White House source said Трамп was really excited about the idea of injecting discipline, until he realized that it meant everyone was probably going to start doing push-ups in the morning.

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On Twitter yesterday, Senator Chris Murphy (D-CT) said, “I ran into John McCain as we walked underground to the Senate for the final vote. Someday I’ll get to tell my grandkids what he said to me.”

Aides said that McCain told Murphy, “When I die, my brain will get put into a robot powered by ice-cream.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Priebus latest high-profile departure from Trump admin
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/28/politics/reince-priebus-chief-of-staff/index.html

New White House chief of staff Kelly is a combat leader who will try to impose discipline
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/07/28/new-trump-chief-staff-john-kelly-general-who-can-impose-order/521899001/

I ran into John McCain as we walked underground to the Senate for the final vote. Someday I’ll get to tell my grandkids what he said to me.
https://twitter.com/ChrisMurphyCT/status/890810835408363520

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.26

 

Senate Republicans voted Tuesday afternoon to advance to floor debate on their effort to hurt millions of people by repealing the Affordable Care Act thanks to a tie-breaking from Vice President and probable head vampire Mike Pence. Senator John McCain, recently diagnosed with brain cancer, returned to the Senate to vote to help ensure a tie-vote that Pence could break. It looked like Pence had the Senate in his thrall …

… But then a few hours later, the Senate voted 43 to 57 to decisively reject a Republican proposal to repeal-and-replace Obamacare, a sign of the chaos expected to envelop Capitol Hill as GOP leaders work to find a plan their conference can agree to.

Experts say that Pence plans to visit several Republican Senators in the middle of the night to drain their blood, in order to put them more closely under his thrall.

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Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп declassified a secret CIA program to arm Syrian rebels in a series of tweets attacking The Washington Post Monday night.

Трамп tweeted, “The Amazon Washington Post fabricated the facts on my ending massive, dangerous, and wasteful payments to Syrian rebels fighting Assad……” He went on to call the Post’s stories “Fake News” and accused the paper of being a “Lobbyist for Amazon and taxes.”

White House aides say that Трамп is planning to declassify other secret U.S. programs, but needs to confer with his manager, Russian President Vladimir Putin, on which program is the most important to reveal first.

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Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is “taking a little time off,” according to State Department spokeswoman Heather Nauert. The announcement was made amid reports that Tillerson was resigning as Secretary of State.

The State Department said that former Exxon CEO Tillerson just needs, “3, maybe 4 years to recuperate,” before he’d even THINK of going back to work.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Senate rejects proposal to repeal and replace Obamacare
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/25/politics/senate-health-care-vote/index.html

Did Trump Declassify a Secret CIA Program With a Tweet?http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/did-trump-just-declassify-secret-cia-program-tweet-n786381

Sec. of State Tillerson ‘taking a little time off’ but not resigning
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/07/25/rex-tillerson-taking-little-time-off/510355001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.24

 

Jared “The Kush” Kushner gave a public statement about his four meetings with Russian officials during the 2016 Presidential campaign and said, “I did not collude.”

Collusion means, “secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy, especially in order to cheat or deceive others.”

After being informed of the definition of collusion, The Kush said, “Oh, THAT’S what that word means. Yeah, I totally colluded with them, then, yeah.”

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Less than a week after revealing he is battling brain cancer, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) said today he will return to Washington on Tuesday to vote on Trumpcare, the bill that will take health care away from millions of people.

I guess if McCain votes for the bill, he’s basically saying, “Health care can’t help me, why should it help you?”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Kushner confirms Russia meetings, says ‘all of my actions were proper’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/24/politics/jared-kushner-russians-statement/index.html

McCain to return to Washington for health-care bill vote
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/07/25/mccain-return-washington-health-care-bill-vote/507263001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.20

 

As Republican senators prepared to make their familiar dash to airports and train stations Thursday evening, many were in agreement: We have no clue what is happening with Obamacare repeal next week.

Mitch McConnell’s office is hoping to spend time with President Steve Bannon in the next week to clarify his position. Washington D.C. insiders say that President Bannon’s feelings on health care are that, “everyone in the country should be as healthy as my face.”

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Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп still has confidence in Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, the White House said Thursday, despite the president’s blunt comments that he would’ve chosen a different person for the top Department of Justice job had he known Sessions was going to recuse himself from ongoing investigations into Трамп’s ties to Russia.

When asked why he still likes Sessions, Трамп said, “I think Sessions puts the White in White House.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Nobody seems to know what the heck is happening on health care
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/20/politics/republican-senators-health-care-vote/index.html

Trump Still Has Confidence In Sessions, White House Says
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/ag-jeff-sessions-says-no-plans-resign-after-trump-comments-n784816

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.19

 

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп started a meeting with a group of Republican Senators, including Nevada Senator Dean Heller, and threatened Nevada Senator Dean Heller, who was sitting next to him.

Трамп said, “This was the one we were worried about. You weren’t there. But you’re gonna be. You’re gonna be. Look, he wants to remain a senator, doesn’t he? And I think the people of your state, which I know very well, I think they’re gonna appreciate what you hopefully will do. Any senator who votes against starting debate is really telling America that you’re fine with Obamacare. But being fine with Obamacare isn’t enough for another reason. Because it’s gone. It’s failed. It’s not gonna be around.”

Heller reacted by laughing and making an, “Oh, okay,” sort of face.

No word yet on whether Трамп will later claim he was kidding or not kidding about Heller, but everyone is pretty sure he was definitely planning to do everything possible to hurt people by trying to take away their health care.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Donald Trump threatened Dean Heller on health care. Heller was sitting next to him.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/19/politics/dean-heller-trump/index.html

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.18

When told that the latest attempt by the Senate to repeal Obamacare, destroy the healthcare system, and hurt over 30 million people in the United States, popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп said…

“It’s an absolute disaster. And I think you’ll also agree that I’ve been saying for a long time, let Obamacare fail, and then everybody’s going to have to come together and fix it. And come up with a new plan and a plan that’s really good for the people with much lower premiums, much lower costs and much better protection. I’ve been saying that, Mike (Vice President Pence), I think you’ll agree, for a long time. Let Obamacare fail. It will be a lot easier, and I think we’re probably in that position where we’ll just let Obamacare fail. We’re not going to own it. I’m not going to own it. I can tell you the Republicans are not going to own it. We’ll let Obamacare fail, and then Democrats will come to us and say, how do we fix it? How do we fix it? Or how do we come up with a new plan?”

When told that losing health care would hurt people, Трамп said, “UH DOI!” then stomped out of the room to go eat Ice Cream.

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Anyone who tells you to go “Beyond Resistance” or that your efforts aren’t working? Tell ‘em to go eat cabbage, booboo, because it’s working. We just have to keep at it!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Mitch McConnell refuses to pull the plug on stalled Obamacare repeal plan
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/18/politics/mcconell-repreal-and-replace-obamacare-not-successful/index.html

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.15

Senate Republicans unveiled a revised version of their health care bill Thursday that cuts Medicaid funding and, thanks to an amendment from Senator and Grandpa Munster impersonator Ted Cruz, would also destroy the individual health market.

The bill has lost support from two Republican Senators, and if a third fails to support it the bill will not pass.

In an effort to shore up support for the bill, Senate Majority Leader and Human Turtle Mitch McConnell is planning to add a provision requiring that anyone 25 years or older who’s below the median income in the United States fight to the death in a televised Thunderdome Match. According to McConnell, “Thunderdome is revenue neutral, because the advertising from watching sick people kill each other live on television will offset the cost of their medical bills.”

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Marathon Enterprises Inc. is recalling more than 7 million pounds of Sabrett hot dogs because they may be contaminated with bone fragments, the U.S. Department of Agriculture said Saturday.

It’s unclear at this time if the bone fragments belong to anyone with knowledge of cooperation between the regime of Donald Трамп and Russian agents.

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The next model of iPhone is expected to be massively re-designed and could sell for as much as $1,200 to $1,400, according to some estimates. Will people pay that kind of money for an iPhone?

Accordingly to Tim Bajarin, an Apple analyst and president of Creative Strategies, the new iPhones will, “fly off the shelves.”

When asked, “Who could possibly afford a phone this expensive?” a Bajarin said, “Attorneys who work for the Трампs. Those guys are billing so many hours.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Crucial week for Republicans’ plan for health care: What you need to know
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/15/politics/week-in-health-care/index.html

More Than 7 Million Pounds of Sabrett Hot Dogs Recalled
http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/More-Than-7-Million-Pounds-of-Hot-Dogs-Recalled-434647573.html

Get prepared for a $1,400 iPhone
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/talkingtech/2017/07/14/get-prepared-1-400-iphone/479613001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.07

 

In brief remarks ahead of his first bilateral meeting with Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, Russian President Vladimir Putin said, “we definitely need personal meetings.”

“We have spoken on the phone with you several times on very important bilateral and international issues. But phone conversation are never enough,” Putin said in Russian.

White House aides say that Putin is planning on taking a more hands-on approach with managing Трамп.

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In his first public comments in nearly a week, human turtle and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell Thursday indicated that passing the GOP’s health care bill remains a daunting prospect for a Republican conference so far unable to agree on key details.

“If Republicans are not able to agree among themselves, the crisis will still be there and we’ll have to figure out the way forward at that point,” McConnell said.

When it was suggested that rather than repeal Obamacare to replace it with a tax-cut for Millionaires in the form of Trumpcare that instead the Senate work on trying to expand healthcare for more people via additional Medicaid stimulus, McConnell disappeared inside his suit.

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Last week, Panda Green Energy Group Limited flipped the switch on the world’s most adorable solar panel facility in Datong Shanxi, China. While a photo of the plant has been difficult to find, a past artist rendering shows panels in the shape of a bright-eyed, smiling Giant Panda.

In related news, West Virginia has announced plans to build a dirty-coal power plant in the shape of Donald Трамп’s head. The plant is expected to go over budget and fail to open.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump and Putin meet at G20: Live updates
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/07/politics/trump-putin-g20-latest/index.html

McConnell Downplays Prospect of Passing Health Care Bill
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/mcconnell-downplays-prospect-passing-health-care-bill-n780201

Panda Power: China just built a solar farm shaped like a giant panda
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/07/07/panda-power-china-just-made-solar-energy-look-adorable/458279001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.06.30

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп went on Twitter this morning and said, “If Republican Senators are unable to pass what they are working on now, they should immediately REPEAL, and then REPLACE at a later date.”

Repealing the Affordable Care Act would cause massive destablization to the insurance market, which is already reeling due to non-payment of funds from Трамп’s White House. The most likely outcome of that destablization would be an increase in premiums.

Days after being elected, Трамп told CBS’s Lesley Stahl on “60 Minutes” that “It’ll be repeal and replace. It will be essentially, simultaneously. It will be various segments, you understand, but will most likely be on the same day or the same week, but probably, the same day, could be the same hour.” Трамп reiterated that position at a news conference as President-elect back in January. “We’re going to do it simultaneously. It’ll be just fine. We’re not going to have, like, a two-day period and we’re not going to have a two-year period where there’s nothing. It will be repealed and replaced.”

In related news, Donald Трамп once again told people that, yes, it’s his real hair up there and not a combover as everyone in the world with two eyes and a brain realized years ago.

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Just hours after popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s travel order went into effect, the state of Hawaii went to federal court Thursday to challenge it, saying the order barred too many people.

The Supreme Court ruled Monday that Трамп’s order could be enforced in part until the court makes a final ruling on the order later this year. The order went into effect at 8 p.m. ET on Thursday.

In response Donald Трамп is planning to invade Hawaii as early as Sunday. He reportedly told aides from his private toilet in the White House, “Honolulu is clearly an ISIS training ground, because Barry Obama is from there, and we all know he founded ISIS, I have a good brain, my hands are huge, healthcare is easy, I love ice-cream, so let’s bomb Hawaii and keep America Safe Again!”

Donald Трамп then left the toilet without remembering to flush.

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An investigation by the international chemical weapons watchdog Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons confirmed Friday that sarin nerve gas was used in a deadly April 4 attack on the Syrian town of Khan Sheikhoun, the latest confirmation of chemical weapons use in Syria’s civil war. The attack on Khan Sheikhoun killed more than 90 men, women and children, and sparked outrage around the world.

“I strongly condemn this atrocity, which wholly contradicts the norms enshrined in the Chemical Weapons Convention,” OPCW Director-General Ahmet Uzumcu said in a statement. “The perpetrators of this horrific attack must be held accountable for their crimes.”

After being briefed on the news, popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп exploded with outrage and screamed, “You know what the real atrocity is? Mika Brankowski’s face lift, she HAD A FACE LIFT, it’s a fact, but is that getting printed? Is it? We should just bomb Syria, to hell with it, just carpet bomb the whole place. You know what has great carpets, by the way? Mar-A-Lago. Let’s go now. Let’s go. Don’t tell Melania or that guy she’s with. Who’s that young guy that’s been hanging around her? You said he’s a Baron? Huh, he looks a little young to be a Baron, I always think of Barons as these really old guys, y’know? I should be a Baron. Baron Von Трамп. Let’s go get some meatloaf.”

It’s day 160 of the Трамп Regime!

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Seriously, has anyone ever seen or heard Donald Трамп flush a toilet? Until I see proof, I’m going to just assume he doesn’t and leaves it to other people.

Keep calling your 2 Senators and your Representative about Health Care! And afterwards, if you get a chance to talk to your member of Congress, ask them about Representative Barbara Lee’s amendment to a recent House Appropriations Bill that would repeal the 2001 Authorized Use of Military Force, and encourage them to support her amendment. It would end President Трамп’s broad, sweeping powers to engage in overseas wars that no President should have.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump: If GOP health care bill fails, repeal Obamacare now, replace later
http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/30/politics/trump-healthcare-bill-twitter/index.html

Hawaii Challenges Enforcement of Trump Travel Order
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/lawyers-immigrant-groups-brace-enforcement-trump-travel-ban-n778361

OPCW probe: Sarin used in deadly attack in Syria
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/06/30/opcw-probe-sarin-used-deadly-attack-syria/442056001/

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