YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.08

Democrats won key races in Virginia and New Jersey, including the Governor’s offices in the 2017 election.

CNN and other media pundits are looking for ways to spin this into a story about Democratic Party disarray.

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NASA Astronaut and Apollo 12 Pilot Dick Gordon passed away at the age of 88.

Reports say he died after eating Astronaut Ice-Cream.

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EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt said that even though his own agency reports that humans are causing global warming, he still plans to roll back the Obama-era Clean Power Plan, a major rule aimed at combating climate change.

Immediately after saying this, Pruitt ate a live rat on TV then ripped off his skin, revealing himself as a lizard person.

Pruit then ate a reporter and declared, “*sssssk* WE WANTS IT HOT! HOT IS BETTER FOR US *sssssk!*”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Democrats sweep in Virginia, New Jersey
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/07/politics/2017-us-election-highlights/index.html

Dick Gordon, NASA Astronaut and Apollo 12 Pilot, Dead at 88
https://www.nbcnews.com/mach/science/dick-gordon-nasa-astronaut-apollo-12-pilot-dead-88-ncna818606

Exclusive: EPA’s Pruitt vows to continue rolling back rules despite alarming climate report
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/11/08/pruitt-says-alarming-climate-report-not-deter-replacement-clean-power-plan/839857001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.07

Donald Трамп said Tuesday “there would have been no difference three days ago” in the deadly Texas shooting if an extreme vetting policy for gun ownership had been in place.

When asked how he knew that, Трамп told reporters, “Because I can see all possible realities! I am the Great Трампini!”

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Early Sunday morning, not long after Kentucky lost to Ole Miss, punter Matt Panton was arrested and charged with public intoxication. He’s been suspended from play.

When asked why they suspended him, Kentucky said, “It’s not like he’s the quarterback!”

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Pensacola Beach Gulf Pier manager Mike Pinzone captured video on his cellphone Sunday morning of a fever of stingrays.

USA Today thought this story was more important than noting that today is election day.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump dismisses question on extreme vetting for gun ownership
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/07/politics/trump-extreme-vetting-guns/index.html

Kentucky P Matt Panton suspended after public intoxication arrest
http://collegefootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2017/11/07/kentucky-p-matt-panton-suspended-after-public-intoxication-arrest/?cid=eref:nbcnews:text

Why zillions of stingrays are gathering off this Fla. beach
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/11/07/why-zillions-stingrays-gathering-off-fla-beach/839233001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.05

According to Saudi-backed broadcaster Al-Arabiya, Saudi Arabia’s anti-corruption committee detained a plethora of princes ministers in a broad, swift sweep on Saturday.

When asked why they acted with such speed, a spokesperson for Saudi Arabia said, “What do we look like, Robert Mueller?”

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James Bamford of NBC News asked this morning, “Why Is the White House Searching for Leakers Instead of Hackers?” He wrote a lengthy article for NBCNews.com detailing why hacking is more concerning than leaking.

When asked for comment on the story, my neighbor Gary said, “Hackers, Leakers, the leaker they should be worried about is the damn President. The man paid hookers to pee on Obama’s bed and there he is. He probably peed on it too. Leaker in chief.”

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Donald Трамп began his tour of Asia, and told reporters that he was planning to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Vietnam later this week. When asked why, Трамп told reporters, “We want Putin’s help on North Korea.”

When asked what kind of help he was hoping to get, Трамп said, “We need Putin’s help to send them Robert Mueller.”

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For the record, I’m not sure speed is the best way to deal with corruption in government. On the other hand, HEY MUELLER WHAT THE HECK MAN?

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Saudi princes, ministers targeted in anti-corruption sweep
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/04/middleeast/saudi-government-anti-corruption-committee/index.html

The White House’s Leak Hunt Is Battling the Wrong Enemy With the Wrong Weapons
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/why-white-house-searching-leakers-instead-hackers-ncna817396

Trump arrives in Japan for start of Asia tour, says he’ll likely meet with Putin
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/11/04/trump-wings-way-asia-talk-trade-north-korea-nukes/832122001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.08

Donald Трамп attacked Senator Bob Corker (R-TN) in a series of tweets Sunday, days after Corker publicly criticized him.

“It’s a shame the White House has become an adult day care center. Someone obviously missed their shift this morning,” Corker wrote.

Aides for Corker say he’s considering a job in the White House’s diaper changing station after he loses his job as Senator.

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American Nazi Richard Spencer and a handful of people held another “tiki-torch rally” in Charlottesville, Virginia.

When asked if they were commemorating their organization’s murder of Heather Heyer in August, Spencer replied, “No, this is just a regular hate rally against black people, Latino people, anyone brown.”

It’s unclear at this time when national news media will start simply describing people like Spencer as, “American Nazis.”

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The National Rifle Association said Sunday it opposes any legislation to ban the use of “bump stocks” on semi-automatic weapons. A bump stock helped an elderly white man murder 58 people in Las Vegas recently.

Rather than focus on gun control, Congress will instead focus on banning birth control for women, because a lot of people in America have lost their minds.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump trashes outgoing Republican Sen. Bob Corker
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/08/politics/donald-trump-bob-corker-tweets/index.html

White Nationalist Richard Spencer Leads Torch-Carrying Crowd in Charlottesville
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/white-nationalist-richard-spencer-leads-torch-carrying-crowd-charlottesville-n808766

NRA: Trump administration, not Congress, should ban ‘bump stocks’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/10/08/nra-trump-administration-not-congress-should-ban-bump-stocks/744138001/

Trump undermines U.S. birth control coverage requirement
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-religion/trump-eviscerates-health-insurance-birth-control-mandate-idUSKBN1CB1XZ

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.27

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп threatened war with North Korea this morning, threatening to use “devastating” military action over the movement of a small number of North Korean fighter jets, external fuel tanks and air-to-air missiles to a base on the hermit kingdom’s eastern coast.

CNN described the warning as “familiar” this morning, treating the news as casual and ordinary.

CNN is later planning to publish a story today, “Is the News Media normalizing Donald Трамп’s behavior? We don’t think so, but what do you think? Click here to subscribe.”

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Carmen Yulin Cruz, mayor of Puerto Rico’s capital city San Juan, asked for urgent help as she expressed frustration with the speed at which rescuers were being set to work on the hurricane-ravaged U.S. territory.

“This is a big S.O.S for anybody out there,” Carmen Yulin Cruz told MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow on Tuesday night, “a plea for this help, which is right here, to get moving.”

Aides to the Трамп regime said that Donald Трамп reportedly has, “help Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands,” on his to-do list, but has a few more pressing concerns to deal with, first.

Among these ahead of helping victims in Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands are …

 

  • Complain about the NFL
  • Delete Tweets that make him look stupid
  • Threaten North Korea
  • New Strategy to Take Away Health Care from Poor People
  • Dump Ivanka and Jared from Will
  • Ask Donald Трамп Jr. how his meeting with Russian buddies went while Secret Service protection was turned off
  • Get Ice Cream
  • Anonymously Send Steve Bannon can of moldy spam with note that says, “You!”
  • Ask Jeff Sessions about ‘what’s going on with you and the blacks?’
  • Ask Ben Carson about Football.
  • Get Barron a haircut, use cuttings to weave into my own hair
  • Get Facial?
  • Get “Other kind of” Facial?
  • Golfing!
  • Eat meatloaf.
  • Get Ice cream again.

 

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The Трамп regime denied a request Tuesday to suspend shipping restrictions that would allow more fuel and emergency supplies to reach Puerto Rico.

When asked why they’re doing that, a White House spokesperson said, “Because we’re jerks. I mean, why are you guys asking this kind of thing, now? It’s always the same answer. We’re jerks.”

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PBS has a good article about relief you can get to Puerto Rico, please read it, and find an organization you can help!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump warns of ‘devastating’ military option as North Korea moves jets
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/26/politics/trump-north-korea-moves-fighters-missiles-fuel-tanks/index.html

Mayor Issues ‘S.O.S.’ as Puerto Ricans Scramble to Help Most Vulnerable
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/puerto-ricans-scramble-help-most-vulnerable-residents-supplies-dwindle-n805006

Why Puerto Rico is being denied shipping deliveries of fuel
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/09/27/trump-administration-denies-request-ease-shipping-fuel-deliveries-puerto-rico/707448001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.15

US spy satellites spotted a mobile missile launcher capable of launching an intermediate range ballistic missile being aimed at Guam in preparation for a possible launch.

Officials in the Трамп regime are preparing for a probable Twitter tantrum from Donald Трамп in response. Said one official, “Трамп is hoping to provoke a launch on Guam by noon today, before he heads back to his golf course in New Jersey.”

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NBC News reported that hundreds of protesters gathered along Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue near  Трамп Tower on Monday evening, shouting angry slogans and holding signs with crossed-out swastikas and Confederate imagery.

Another way to report this headline would be, “Thousands of demonstrators gathered near Трамп Tower on Monday for four hours, condemning the bigotry of Donald Трамп.”

When asked how they came up with their estimate of hundreds, a spokesperson for NBC News said, “technically a thousand people is like 10 hundred, so, we like stand by that.”

NOTE: I was there, it was 1,000-2,000 people packed on the sidewalks.

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Intel CEO Brian Krzanich stepped down from the Трамп Regime’s business advisory council late Monday over Donald Трамп’s lack of response to a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia.

A spokesperson for the Трамп regime said they’re planning to ask the head of white nationalist website The Daily Stormer to replace Mr. Krzanich. “I couldn’t even pronounce that guys name anyway!” Трамп shouted from a toilet in Трамп Tower as he prepared to Трамп Tweet.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

US spy satellites detect activity in N. Korea
http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2017/08/14/north-korea-spy-satellite-sciutto-dnt-tsr.cnn

NYC Protesters to Trump After Charlottesville: ‘You Have Blood On Your Hands’
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/protesters-trump-after-charlottesville-you-have-blood-your-hands-n792696

Intel CEO joins Merck, Under Armour in quitting Trump’s jobs council
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2017/08/15/intel-ceo-joins-merck-under-armour-quitting-trumps-jobs-council/567606001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.07

This morning North Korea said it will launch “thousands-fold” revenge against the United States, after the United Nations Security Council unanimously approved tough new sanctions Saturday, including a ban on coal and other exports worth over $1 billion.

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said Monday that, “The best signal that North Korea could give us that they’re prepared to talk would be to stop these missile launches.”

Pretty sure that threatening to launch a thousands-fold revenge is not a sign that anyone wants to talk. Heckuva job you’re doing on the peace front there, Tillie.

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Today the New York Times reported that many politicians will bend the truth to make a point, but that Трамп lies more than any other modern politician in history.

Later today, the New York Times will report that water is wet.

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On Friday Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп started a 17-day vacation at his resort golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey. The regime was quick to note that this is a “working” vacation, so Трамп will still do some of what he considers the President’s job..

Among the things Трамп plans to do on his vacation while working are …

 

  • Golfing
  • Tweeting
  • Lying to reporters about how much someone says they liked his speech
  • Tweeting while Golfing
  • Eating three scoops of ice-cream
  • Golfing while tweeting

 

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

North Korea threatens ‘thousands-fold’ revenge against U.S. for sanctions
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/08/07/north-korea-threatens-revenge-against-u-s-sanctions/544226001/

Many Politicians Lie. But Trump Has Elevated the Art of Fabrication.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/07/us/politics/lies-trump-obama-mislead.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

As Trump plays golf, trouble brews
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-40829988

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.28

 

Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell’s latest attempt to replace Obamacare with Trumpcare failed last night during a dramatic vote. McConnell and the Republican Party wrote a new bill late last night, and the vote failed by just three Republican votes from Senators John McCain, Lisa Murkowski and Susan Collins.

McConnell and his fellow Republicans were devastated that they weren’t able to take away health care from millions of Americans, and have vowed to kick some puppies this morning until they get their next chance to hurt millions of men, women and children.

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Right next to headlines about the failure of Republicans to repeal and replace Obamacare, CNN ran a headline about Anthony Scaramucci that read, “The 8 wildest storylines from The Mooch’s first week on the job.”

I mean, what could go wrong by downplaying the serious danger of having an unhinged alleged-billionaire lunatic in the halls of power in Washington D.C., right CNN?

It’s almost like CNN doesn’t remember running similar headlines about popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп a year ago.

CNN is basically like that friend at a party who’s pretty smart and okay to talk to most of the time, but then sometimes gets blackout drunk then ALWAYS decides to pee in someone’s bed when that happens.

Then says, “I mean, I don’t remember peeing in your bed but like someone shouldn’t have let me in that room in the first place. Can we talk about Hillary’s emails?”

Anyway, Anthony Scaramucci is a deranged lunatic, which is why he fits so well in Трамп’s White House.

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This just in, Federal investigators are close to revealing some of Donald Трамп’s most closely guarded secrets through their probe of his dealings with Russian nationals and government agents. Among those secrets are how much money he REALLY makes, which Russian mobsters he does business with and how much money he owes to the aforementioned politically-connected Russian mobsters.

Still a secret: The number of hours and people it takes each day to construct his combover!

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

GOP Obamacare repeal bill fails in dramatic late-night vote
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/27/politics/health-care-debate-thursday/index.html

The 8 wildest storylines from The Mooch’s first week on the job
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/28/politics/anthony-scaramucci-wild-week/index.html

Russia probe could reveal Trump’s closest-held secrets
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/07/27/russia-investigation-delves-into-trumps-most-guarded-business-secrets/515961001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.17

 

Senator John McCain (R-AZ) is recovering at home following surgery at the Mayo Clinic Hospital in Phoenix to remove a blood clot above his left eye. The bone above his eye was opened to gain access to his brain to remove the clot.

There’s no word yet on whether surgeons were able to see the part of his brain that continues to support President Трамп’s policies.

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Conservative pundit and throat model Ann Coulter sent some angry tweets to Delta Airlines after her reserved seat was given to another passenger. Delta later agreed to refund the additional $30 Coulter paid for her reserved seat, and explained her rudeness was unnecessary.

In April, Coulter felt differently about airlines changing passenger seats when it came to Dr. David Dao, who was famously kicked out of his seat by United Airlines, then given a concussion while being forcibly removed from the flight.

Coulter said then that she was, “Sorry about the dragging, but the convicted pill-mill doctor should be deported. Dreamland.”

Presumably, Coulter would’ve been okay with Delta changing her seat ONLY if she was beaten, dragged off the flight, then sent to live in Mexico.

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USA Today put a question on the front page of their website today, “At this six-month milestone, can Трамп turn around his struggling presidency?”

After approximately 1,500 words, the answer was, no kidding, Трамп is a D-Plus President. So, No, he can’t turn around his struggling presidency.

There’s no word yet on why USA Today needed 1,500 words to say No.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

McCain’s blood clot may be more significant than first thought
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/17/health/mccain-blood-clot-surgery-significant-bn/index.html

Delta Calls Ann Coulter Tweetstorm ‘Unacceptable and Unnecessary’
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/delta-calls-ann-coulter-tweetstorm-unacceptable-unnecessary-n783566

Sorry about the dragging, but the convicted pill-mill doctor should be deported. Dreamland
https://twitter.com/AnnCoulter/status/851892256642523136

Analysis: At the six-month milestone, can Trump turn around his struggling presidency?
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/07/16/analysis-six-months-can-trump-turn-around-his-presidency/478470001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.16

 

In Solebury Township, PA, two young men of wealth, Cosmo Dinardo, 20, and Sean Kratz, also 20, were arrested for murdering four people over a marijuana deal gone bad. Dinardo graduated from Holy Ghost Preparatory School in 2015.

A spokesperson for CNN said they plan on showing smiling yearbook photos of the suspects within the next week, along with quotes talking about how nice the two young men were and how the murders they committed shouldn’t ruin the rest of their lives.

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Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s job approval rating in the American counties that fueled his 2016 victory stands at 50 percent, according to a new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll. Fifty percent of adults in “Трамп Country” approve of his job performance.

In a related poll, fifty percent of adults in Трамп Country huff gasoline regularly while watching ‘Wheel of Fortune’ and trying to make up funny answers to the puzzles.

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The Трамп regime has raised nearly $12 million for his 2020 re-election campaign, but have already spent more than $677,000 in “legal consulting” fees between April and June according to recently filed Federal Election Commission reports.

A spokesperson for the Трамп regime said, “Yeah, it’s all for Russia-related legal defenses, but man, just wait until the photos of that prostitute he paid to pee on a mattress that Obama slept in are made public, they’ll–” before being whisked out of the room by Agents of HYDRA.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Small-town Pennsylvania left ‘disoriented, in shock’ by grisly murders
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/16/us/pennsylvania-missing-men-community/index.html

Trump’s Approval Stands at 50 Percent in the Counties That Fueled His Win
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/trump-s-approval-stands-50-percent-counties-fueled-his-win-n783151

Trump campaign shoulders big legal bills as Russia probes rapidly expand
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/07/15/trump-campaign-shoulders-big-legal-bills-russia-probes-rapidly-expand/481981001/

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