YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.01

CNN is predicting more people resigning from the Трамп regime in the coming weeks as some staffers near their one year anniversary.

The people lined up to work for a year 3 in the Трамп regime include …

  • Any Republican not involved in a child molestation scandal
  • A potted plant
  • Donald Трамп, Jr.

————

34 year old Shane Ryan Sealy went to a “Families Belong Together” rally in Alabama armed with a gun, then started a fight with a protester, police and witnesses said Sunday. He was charged with menacing and reckless endangerment by Huntsville police.

NBC News described Shane Ryan Sealy as an “armed heckler.”

When asked why they described a person literally terrorizing immigrants as simply an, “armed heckler,” a spokesperson for NBC News said, “Duh, because he’s a white guy.”

————

In Japan on Sunday, a Hello Kitty-themed pink bullet train debuted, adorned with the cartoon icon.

In Brooklyn at the same time, a young NYU student urinated between the subway cars on the 4 train and adorned everything with a beer-pee smell.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

More West Wing turnover may be coming
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/01/politics/ip-west-wing-turnover/index.html

Armed heckler arrested at ‘Keep Families Together’ rally in Alabama
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/armed-heckler-arrested-keep-families-together-rally-alabama-n888176

Hello Kitty bullet train ferries fans in Japan
https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/destinations/2018/07/01/hello-kitty-japanese-bullet-train-decorated-popular-cartoon/749289002/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

Advertisements

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.06.25

Esteban Guzman, a 27-year-old systems administrator and part-time landscaper, was doing yard work with his mother in California, when they were verbally attacked by a woman who called them “illegals” and “rapists.”

When asked if this was civil treatment, a Трамп regime spokesperson said, “Of course it was, it’s not like she was asking them to leave a restaurant!”

————

Sources close to NBC News have reported that Defense Secretary James ‘Mad Dog’ Mattis is ‘completely out of the loop’ on all decisions made by Donald J. Трамп.

Also out of the loop on all decisions made by Donald J. Трамп — basic human decency.

————

Milwaukee-based motorcycle manufacturer Harley-Davidson will move production to various foreign markets to avoid increased tariffs from the European Union after buffoon and human garbage can Donald J. Трамп ignited an unnecessary trade war.

In response, Donald J. Трамп will soon release a statement announcing that Harley-Davidson is opening 5 billion new motorcycle plants in Ohio.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Woman cites Trump while calling man ‘rapist,’ ‘illegal’ in viral rant
https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/26/us/woman-berates-man-viral-rant-don-lemon-cnntv/index.html

Mattis is out of the loop and Trump doesn’t listen to him, say officials
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/mattis-out-loop-trump-doesn-t-listen-him-say-officials-n885796

Harley-Davidson to move some motorcycle production out of US after EU tariffs
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2018/06/25/harley-davidson-eu-tariffs-trump/729958002/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.06.24

Actor George Takei, who was detained in a Japanese internment camp as a child in the 1940s,  described the Donald J. Трамп’s practice of separating families at the US-Mexico border as “grotesque.”

I dunno George Takei, Трамп’s hair is pretty grotesque, too. Let’s never forget that.

————

NBC News recently published a guide called, “How to get stains out of almost anything.” The guide will help remove the stains of blood, wine, grass, pet urine, coffee, almost anything.

One thing the guide doesn’t cover is how to remove the stain of injustice from the soul of America under the Трамп regime.

————

Readers of USA Today entered into the fray about the ‘civility’ of asking propaganda minister “Smokey Eye” Sarah Huckabee Sanders to leave a restaurant over her support of policies kidnapping immigrant children from their families and placing them in prison.

Some responses were pro-Sanders, others were con among USA Today readers.

Among people who fought in the Civil Rights movement, the response was, “WHY ARE WE DEBATING THIS WHEN THERE ARE CHILDREN IN U.S. PRISONS?”

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Takei: Trump’s immigration rhetoric ‘grotesque’
https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2018/06/25/george-takei-trump-immigration-rhetoric-bts-rs.cnn

How to get stains out of almost anything
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/pop-culture/how-get-stains-out-almost-anything-ncna885806

What’s good for the goose is good for the Red Hen: Readers sound off
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2018/06/24/sarah-sanders-red-hen-your-say/728881002/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.06.23

Donald J. Трамп held a rally for Republican Senator Dean Heller, and referred to his opponent, Democrat Jacky Rosen, as “Wacky Jacky.” He then called Senator Elizabeth Warren ‘Pochahontas.”

Трамп was applauded by pundits for being civil.

————

In the face of the ongoing immigration crisis caused by the policies of Donald J. Трамп, NBC reported recently that, “It’s getting tougher for migrants to claim asylum at U.S. ports of entry.”

Stay tuned for NBC’s latest hard-hitting expose, “Water: Is it Wet? We ask the experts.”

————

The White House’s own version of Joseph Goebbels, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, was asked to leave the Red Hen restaurant in Virginia Friday night by the business owner because of her support of the racist, oppressive policies of the Трамп regime.

The owners of the Red Hen asked their staff, many of whom are members of the LGBTQ community, whether they should serve Sanders and her party. Sanders and her party were seated and eating appetizers. After discussing with the staff and taking a vote, the owner decided to politely ask Sanders to leave. Sanders agreed to leave, her party decided to go with her, and the restaurant paid for the appetizers.

In reaction to this incident, editorial staff around the country plan to write pieces decrying the lack of civility in the United States, with an even split between old white liberals and old white conservatives on the matter.

When asked if anyone plans to talk about the uncivil, racist remarks Donald J. Трамп used at a political rally for Senator Dean Heller the same day that this happened, white people in news rooms around America said, “But what if I get asked to leave a restaurant next?”

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump unveils new nickname, re-uses old slur
https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2018/06/24/trump-wacky-jacky-nevada-speech-sot.cnn

Try later: It’s getting tougher for migrants to claim asylum at U.S. ports of entry
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/immigration-border-crisis/try-later-it-s-getting-tougher-migrants-claim-asylum-u-n885861

Trump spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders kicked out of Virginia restaurant by owner
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/06/23/trump-spokeswoman-sarah-sanders-virginia-restaurant/727972002/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.06.22

The Supreme Court ruled today that police forces in the United States can’t track you without a  court order.

In related news, police in the U.S. plan to still harass people mercilessly if they aren’t white.

————

CNN reported that 42% of Americans are ready to impeach Donald J. Трамп. In 1974, 43% of Americans were ready to impeach Richard Nixon.

In related news, it looks like 100% of Americans are ready for summer! Haha, everything is terrible!

————

Speaking of Summer, USA Today writer Tom Krattenmaker is telling readers to take a real vacation by leaving Donald J. Трамп and Washington outrage at home!

If you’re a USA Today reader who’s an immigrant stuck in a Трамп immigrant internment camp, Tom Krattenmaker would like to tell you, “Lalala I can’t hear you I’m on vacay!”

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Supreme Court says police can’t use your cellphone to track you without a court order
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/supreme-court-says-police-can-t-use-your-phone-track-n873156

There’s nearly a Nixon ’74 level of public support for impeaching Trump
https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/22/politics/impeach-trump-nixon-support-bill-clinton-poll/index.htm

Take a real vacation. Leave Donald Trump and Washington outrage at home.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2018/06/22/leave-donald-trump-washington-outrage-behind-summer-vacation-column/710608002/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.01.30

Amidst a sea of scandals involving men who abuse women, and men turning away from the abuse heaped on women by their fellow men, comes a story about Hillary Clinton, because of course it does.

Hillary Clinton explained on Facebook that keeping a senior adviser on her 2008 campaign who was accused of sexual harassment was a mistake. She said she wouldn’t make the same decision today.

Pundits believe this statement will put to rest any notion that the media will treat Hillary Clinton and other women fairly, since this is literally happening at the same time that Donald Трамп has over 20 women actively accusing him of sexual harassment right now.

THERE’S NO PUNCHLINE HERE! THIS IS JUST WHAT HAPPENS NOW! CAPS LOCK! !@#!@#!

————

Donald Трамп is telling friends and aides in private that things are going great for him, leading some pundits to wonder if he’s delusional.

As my neighbor Gary put it, yeah, things are great for Donald Трамп right now. “That dude is making money hand over fist. He’s free, nowhere near a prosecution or jail cell. His Jesus supporters are letting him coast on multiple counts of adultery. And most of the newspaper and TV people just kiss up to him and just pretend he’s bad news,” said Gary.

It’s unlikely Gary will be interviewed by anyone from CNN, The New York Times, the Washington Post, NBC News, Fox News, The Young Turks, because he’s an old black dude who gives a lot of side eye.

————

Black Panther, starring Chadwick Boseman as African king T’Challa, had its world premiere on Monday night in Hollywood. Early reactions praised the Marvel film for celebrating black excellence at a level never seen before in the genre. A lot of people are predicting Black Panther will render audiences speechless.

For most audiences, that speechlessness will come from the sheer awesomeness of the movie.

White nationalists will likely be rendered speechless by the movie, too, because even those guys will know deep down that saying, “What about a WHITE Panther movie?” sounds stupid.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Clinton says she wouldn’t keep faith adviser if she ‘had to do it again’
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/30/politics/hillary-clinton-sexual-harassment/index.html

The ‘state’ of Donald Trump? He thinks it couldn’t be better.
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/2018-state-of-the-union-address/state-donald-trump-he-thinks-it-couldn-t-be-better-n842501

‘Black Panther’ first reactions: It’s ‘astonishing,’ ‘iconic’ and ‘will save blockbusters’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2018/01/30/black-panther-first-reactions-declare-film-astonishing-iconic-and-save-blockbusters/1077768001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.01.26

Air Force One is primed to receive an upgrade that will include new refrigerators expected to cost American taxpayers nearly $24 million.

When asked why the refrigerators were so expensive, a spokesperson for the Трамп regime said, “it costs a lot of money to put The Donald in gold leaf on every door and shelf,” before being whisked out of the room by agents of HYDRA.

————

Speaking of Donald Трамп, did you hear what happened at Davos? He got a lot of boos for criticizing the media’s coverage of his presidency.

You know a dude’s in trouble when even the whitest of white people in Europe don’t like you.

————

Hillary Clinton reportedly asked to keep adviser Burns Strider on her 2008 presidential campaign, despite accusations that he had sexually harassed a young woman.

Most media sources are planning to cover this story with three to six times the reporters they’re using to cover the 20+ sexual harassment claims against The Donald.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Air Force One’s new refrigerators cost $24 million
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/26/politics/air-force-one-refrigerator-contract-boeing/index.html

Trump draws boos at Davos after criticizing the press
https://www.nbcnews.com/video/president-trump-booed-at-davos-after-criticizing-the-press-1146689603869?v=b

Report: Hillary Clinton protected aide accused of sexual harassment in 2008
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/01/26/report-hillary-clinton-protected-aide-accused-sexual-harassment-2008/1069313001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.30

Army veteran Stephanie Kemplin told CNN that Senator Al Franken groped her in December 2003. Franken’s office said he takes thousands of photos with people and doesn’t engage in that kind of behavior, but takes the accusation seriously.

In related news, holy crap, Al Franken has apparently groped thousands of women while taking photos.

————

NBC News offered a set of tips for dieters on how to design a kitchen to help encourage weight loss. Among the tips they offered were …

  • Have a set of measuring cups and spoons
  • Place fruit on the counter
  • Hide the sugary stuff
  • Rearrange your pantry
  • Have an emergency stash
  • Confine food to the kitchen
  • Play music in the kitchen

So, basically, NBC News advice to dieters is to have a kitchen.
————

Russell Simmons stepped down from his various businesses and philanthropies following multiple accusations against him of sexual harassment.

In related news, Simmons is considering a new comedy show partnership with Bill Cosby called “The All Rapist Comedy Hour.”
————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Army veteran says Franken groped her during USO tour in 2003
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/30/politics/al-franken-groping-allegation/index.html

How to design your kitchen for weight-loss success
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/7-ways-arrange-your-kitchen-weight-loss-success-ncna824546

Russell Simmons steps down from companies, name removed from ‘All Def Comedy’ amid accusations
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2017/11/30/russell-simmons-steps-down-companies-following-new-accusation-writer-jenny-lumet/908706001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.08

Democrats won key races in Virginia and New Jersey, including the Governor’s offices in the 2017 election.

CNN and other media pundits are looking for ways to spin this into a story about Democratic Party disarray.

————

NASA Astronaut and Apollo 12 Pilot Dick Gordon passed away at the age of 88.

Reports say he died after eating Astronaut Ice-Cream.

————

EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt said that even though his own agency reports that humans are causing global warming, he still plans to roll back the Obama-era Clean Power Plan, a major rule aimed at combating climate change.

Immediately after saying this, Pruitt ate a live rat on TV then ripped off his skin, revealing himself as a lizard person.

Pruit then ate a reporter and declared, “*sssssk* WE WANTS IT HOT! HOT IS BETTER FOR US *sssssk!*”

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Democrats sweep in Virginia, New Jersey
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/07/politics/2017-us-election-highlights/index.html

Dick Gordon, NASA Astronaut and Apollo 12 Pilot, Dead at 88
https://www.nbcnews.com/mach/science/dick-gordon-nasa-astronaut-apollo-12-pilot-dead-88-ncna818606

Exclusive: EPA’s Pruitt vows to continue rolling back rules despite alarming climate report
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/11/08/pruitt-says-alarming-climate-report-not-deter-replacement-clean-power-plan/839857001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.07

Donald Трамп said Tuesday “there would have been no difference three days ago” in the deadly Texas shooting if an extreme vetting policy for gun ownership had been in place.

When asked how he knew that, Трамп told reporters, “Because I can see all possible realities! I am the Great Трампini!”

————

Early Sunday morning, not long after Kentucky lost to Ole Miss, punter Matt Panton was arrested and charged with public intoxication. He’s been suspended from play.

When asked why they suspended him, Kentucky said, “It’s not like he’s the quarterback!”

————

Pensacola Beach Gulf Pier manager Mike Pinzone captured video on his cellphone Sunday morning of a fever of stingrays.

USA Today thought this story was more important than noting that today is election day.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump dismisses question on extreme vetting for gun ownership
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/07/politics/trump-extreme-vetting-guns/index.html

Kentucky P Matt Panton suspended after public intoxication arrest
http://collegefootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2017/11/07/kentucky-p-matt-panton-suspended-after-public-intoxication-arrest/?cid=eref:nbcnews:text

Why zillions of stingrays are gathering off this Fla. beach
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/11/07/why-zillions-stingrays-gathering-off-fla-beach/839233001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …