YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.05.26

A surprise meeting between South Korean President Moon Jae-In and North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un just happened in the Korean Demilitarized Zone. This is the second this month, and the first to happen after Donald Трамп abruptly canceled a summit meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.

Трамп told his staff, “If they want to meet without me, it’s no big deal. Whatever. I can meet with other people if I wanna. I want ice cream. Can I have a hamburger? No, I don’t want a hamburger I want a cheeseburger! Get me ice cream on a cheeseburger now Now NOW!”

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NBC News recently reviewed the movie ‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ and said it’s a great show but a terrible experience.

In related News, Stormy Daniels reviewed Donald J Трамп and said the same thing.

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Alan Bean, the fourth man to walk on the moon, died on Saturday at age 86.

Aides say Donald J Трамп plans to talk with Sean Hannity before bed tonight to decide when to declare the Moon Landing fake news.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

North and South Korean leaders hold surprise meeting
https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/26/politics/north-and-south-korean-leaders-meet-again/index.html

‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ is a great show but a terrible film
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/solo-star-wars-story-great-show-terrible-film-ncna877711

Alan Bean, 4th man to walk on the moon, dies at 86
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/05/26/alan-bean-4th-man-walk-moon-dies-86/647507002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.02.10

A man scaled a fence at Los Angeles International Airport then ran up to an airplane. The man shut-down the entire airport. Police believe he was high when he pulled the stunt.

When asked why police didn’t shoot the man, a spokesperson for the LAPD said, “He was a white guy, duh,” before being whisked out of the room.

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U.S. and U.N. sanctions on the Foreign Trade Bank, North Korea’s primary foreign exchange bank, were preventing the country “from honoring its obligation as a U.N. member state by hindering even normal activities such as payment of the U.N. contribution,” the North Korean mission said in a statement late on Friday.

In response, the U.N. said that if they renew their dues today, they can get a 24 month subscription, along with a free tote bag!

North Korea said they’d think about it.

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An Israeli fighter jet, under fire from Syrian anti-aircraft batteries, crashed Saturday as Israel mounted a heavy military response to what it said was the incursion of its airspace by an Iranian drone. This could be a precursor to a broader war in the Middle East.

When asked about the tense situation, Donald Trump said, “C’mon, I’m trying to watch the Olympics! Ask me on Monday, come on you guys!”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Man scales fence, runs to plane at LAX
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/11/us/los-angeles-man-on-runway/index.html

North Korea says it is unable to pay U.N. dues, blames sanctions
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/north-korea-says-it-unable-pay-u-n-dues-blames-n846671

Israel launches ‘large-scale attack’ on Iranian targets in Syria
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2018/02/10/israel-syria-iran-drone-f-16-crash/325955002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.02.03

Human Rights Watch reported that Syrians attempting to flee violence and seek refuge in Turkey are being shot at by Turkish border guards. From December 15 to January 15, about 247,000 Syrians were displaced to the border area, according to the United Nations.

State Department officials say that in response to this horrendous crime, Mr. Трамп plans to hire the guards for duty on his wall if it’s ever completed.
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Democrats are calling the Russialago memo released by House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes “deliberately misleading and deeply wrong on the law.”

In response, Republican officials said in unions, “No shit, sherlock!”
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A white nationalist group is planning to launch a lecture series at the University of Tennessee later this month called “National Socialism or Death!” The lecture will present white supremacist and Neo-Nazi propaganda, with the hope to recruit new members to their cause from the university.

Students at the University of Tennessee said they’d consider the lecture if it came with free bong hits.
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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Turkish border guards are shooting at Syrian refugees, rights group says
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/03/middleeast/turkey-border-guard-syria-hrw/index.html

Democratic rebuttal calls Nunes memo ‘deliberately misleading’
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/democratic-rebuttal-calls-nunes-memo-deliberately-misleading-n844426

White nationalist to launch lecture series at University of Tennessee
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/02/03/white-nationalist-launch-lecture-series-university-tennessee/303692002/
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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.02.01

dropping-cell-phone-toilet-footage-021257188_iconl.png
Aides for the White House say that The Donald was mostly upset that his phone fell in a “stupid regular toilet!” instead of one of his gold toilets.

This morning Donald Трамп broke his dry spell on Twitter and started tweeting again! He went silent on Twitter for more than 24 hours.

Aides speaking on condition of anonymity say it’s because The Donald dropped his phone in the toilet and didn’t want to tell anyone about it.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders said that Mr. Трамп fully intended to drop his phone in the toilet.

Later, Donald Трамп said that the claim he wasn’t on Twitter for more than 24 hours was fake news, because his tweets were simply invisible.

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Victor Cha, Donald Трамп’s long-awaited choice for ambassador to South Korea, withdrew himself from consideration for the job. Cha withdrew in protest over Donald Трамп’s plans for a military strike against North Korea.

In lieu of an ambassador, Трамп plans to, “just like use the Skype every day for a few minutes to talk to the South Korea. We have a good relationship folks, a good relationship, they love me!’

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Donald Трамп tweeted that his audience of 45.5 million viewers for his State of the Union address was “the largest in history.”

It wasn’t. According to the Nielsen Company, President George W. Bush had an audience of 62 million in 2003 as he launched wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Upon hearing the news, Трамп said he plans on launching a war in December of this year against some country to help boost his January 2019 State of the Union ratings if he’s still in the White House

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Did you notice that Trump didn’t tweet for a day?
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/31/politics/wheres-donald-trump-twitter/index.html

Sudden exit of ambassador pick has Trump facing Korean crisis without key diplomat
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/confusing-exit-top-trump-diplomatic-pick-comes-critical-moment-n843676

Trump falsely claims TV audience for State of the Union address was ‘largest in history’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/02/01/trump-falsely-claims-tv-audience-state-union-address-largest-history/1086116001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.01.24

A suicide bomber attacked the offices of Save the Children in Jalalabad, eastern Afghanistan, Wednesday. 20 people were injured in the assault and 2 people were killed.

Save the Children believes that the office can be rebuilt for just $1.00 a day, which is less than the price of a cup of coffee.

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In Kentucky, a 15-year-old boy used a handgun to kill two students and wound 18 others at his high school.

In response, Donald Трамп said nothing. The White House is planning to release a statement of support for the NRA later to help them through these troubling times.

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Pope Francis is denouncing “fake news” as evil and is urging journalists to make it their mission to search for the truth.

In response to the Pope’s please, Fox News is planning to run an expose, “Is Pope Francis the head of PizzaGate? The REAL Russia scandal!”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Attackers target Save the Children office in Afghanistan, killing 2
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/24/asia/afghanistan-save-the-children-bombing-intl/index.html

Kentucky school shooting: Two dead after attack at Marshall County High School
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/one-dead-after-shooting-kentucky-high-school-multiple-victims-reported-n840171

Pope Francis: ‘Fake news’ is evil, journalists must search for truth
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2018/01/24/pope-fake-news-is-evil-journalists-must-search-for-truth/109761486/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.27

Former US President Barack Obama was interviewed by Britain’s Prince Harry for the BBC recently. He warned about the dangers of leader using social media in divisive ways.

“One of the dangers of the internet is that people can have entirely different realities,” Obama said.

Immediately after the interview aired, Donald Трамп tweeted that he was really the first black president but then deleted the tweet.

trump-tweet.png
He’s been working on a better comeback Tweet all morning!

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Experts in the war on terror are warning that ISIS is retreating into a “virtual caliphate” and will still be a threat in 2018.

“The war has yet to be won, and if it’s ever going to be won it’s going to take many more years, and many more civilians will lose their lives,” said Peter Vincent, a counterterrorism expert and former Department of Homeland Security official.

So, for all the counterterrorism experts who expected not to be on TV next year, great news!

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The Library of Congress announced Tuesday that it will no longer archive every single public Tweet that passes through the Twittersphere. The reason they gave was that there are too many visual tweets, life GIFS, to properly archive.

So, I guess the Library of Congress and Twitter are just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  💔 😞

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Obama warns over divisive social media use in Prince Harry interview
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/27/politics/obama-prince-harry-interview-social-media-intl/index.html

ISIS will remain a threat in 2018, experts warn
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/isis-terror/isis-will-remain-threat-2018-experts-warn-n828146

Library of Congress will no longer archive every tweet
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/12/27/library-congress-no-longer-archive-every-tweet/983606001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.24

The Moscow Ballet is performing its “Great Russian Nutcracker” across the United States. This performance includes a moment where the principal character, Masha, is given a Dove of Peace during the Christmas party scene.

The other Great Russian Nutcracker, Vladimir Putin, will give Donald Трамп a cash bonus by New Years.

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Decades of conflict and political instability have all but destroyed Afghanistan’s once-thriving heritage and tourism industry, but new efforts are being made to promote the country’s spectacular riches. Among Afghanistan’s top attractions is Band-e-Amir, the country’s first national park, created in 2009.

Afghan officials promise that during tourist visits to Band-e-Amir, the Taliban and U.S. Coalition forces will only detonate a maximum of three bombs.

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Hobby Lobby from Flickr via Wylio
© 2009 hattiesburgmemory, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Hobby Lobby craft store chain owners Steve and Jackie Green recently opened the $500 million Museum of the Bible in Washington D.C.

It has more than 3,000 artifacts, including fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls, a first edition of the King James Bible, and a one-ton stone from the Western Wall.

Some artifacts are still in boxes waiting to be put onto the floor, including the Ark of the Covenant. Museum officials are having a hard time getting the Ark on the floor, because it keeps disintegrating everyone who touches it.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Moscow Ballet’s ‘Great Russian Nutcracker’ promotes peace
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/24/entertainment/moscow-ballet-nutcracker/index.html

Afghanistan’s Bamiyan province starts tourism revival with national park
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/afghanistan-s-bamiyan-province-starts-tourism-revival-national-park-n830741

The Museum of the Bible debuts in the nation’s capital
https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/roadwarriorvoices/2017/12/24/museum-bible-debuts-nations-capital/978114001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.20

Investigators in Washington State are still looking for answers to why a train derailed there recently, leaving hundreds hurt. Washington Governor Jay Inslee said, “There are a thousand unanswered questions about this right now.”

In response to the tragedy, Donald Трамп tweeted, “The train accident that just occurred in DuPont, WA shows more than ever why our soon to be submitted infrastructure plan must be approved quickly.”

Well, that Tweet at least answers the question, “Is Trump still a douchebag?”

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According to a new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll, 36% of Americans say they’ll vote for Donald Трамп if he runs for reelection in 2020. That’s down from just under 50% support for Трамп last year.

In related news, 36% of Americans reportedly say they smoke crack daily!

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Between 9,000 and 11,000 civilians have been killed in Mosul, Iraq during the recent nine month war between ISIS and Iraqi and U.S. forces there.

When told about the news, Donald Трамп reportedly said, “That’s nothing, wait until 2018!”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Amtrak train crash leaves ‘a thousand unanswered questions’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/20/us/amtrak-derailment-washington/index.html

Poll: Just 36% of Americans indicate they would vote for Trump in 2020
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/poll-just-36-americans-indicate-they-would-vote-trump-2020-n831266

9,000-plus died in battle with Islamic State group for Mosul
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/12/20/9-000-plus-died-battle-islamic-state-group-mosul/968009001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.16

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson told North Korea’s representative to the UN on Friday that they’re to blame for tensions on the Korean peninsula, not himself or Donald Трамп.

Tillerson’s next move is to declare himself rubber, and North Korea glue.

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Facebook rolled out Messenger Kids, an app without ads that allows parents to control their kids’ contact list. The app is squeaky-clean fun free from predators.

Facebook promises to keep it that way by preemptively blocking Roy Moore.

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Did you hear that story about George Clooney? Turns out that some time after George Clooney became super rich, he gathered around 14 of his closest friends and gave them each a million dollars.

His less close friends all got a gift certificate to Applebees. Acquaintances got socks.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Tillerson confronts North Korean diplomat at UN
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/15/politics/tillerson-un-north-korea/index.html

Facebook’s new Messenger app is free from predators. But that doesn’t make it safe.
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/facebook-s-new-messenger-app-free-predators-doesn-t-make-ncna827991

George Clooney gave his closest friends $1 million each
https://www.usatoday.com/videos/life/2017/12/16/george-clooney-gave-his-closest-friends-1-million-each/108639808/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.15

Four Palestinians were killed and hundreds wounded Friday in the West Bank and Gaza during clashes between Israeli troops and protesters opposed to Donald Трамп’s recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

In response to the crisis, Donald Трамп plans to drink Diet Coke and scream at his television.

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Secretary of State Rex Tillerson stepped back Friday from his offer of unconditional talks with North Korea, telling world powers the nuclear-armed nation must earn the right to negotiate with the United States.

Tillerson said the best way for North Korea to earn points would be for Kim Jong Un to stay at Трамп International Resorts.

With enough points, Tillerson believes North Korea could also earn a free continental breakfast!

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NASA’s planet-hunting Kepler space telescope discovered an eighth planet orbiting a star known as Kepler-90.  The planet, dubbed Kepler-90i, is a hot, rocky planet that orbits its star every 14.4 days.

NASA will begin booking trips to Kepler-90i for anyone who wants to escape Трамп’s America within the week.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Four dead, hundreds wounded as protests over Jerusalem hit second week
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/15/middleeast/jerusalem-protests-friday-intl/index.html

Tillerson retreats on offer of unconditional North Korea talks
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/tillerson-retreats-offer-unconditional-north-korea-talks-n830311

NASA’s Kepler finds solar system like ours with eight planets
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/nation-now/2017/12/15/nasas-kepler-finds-solar-system-like-ours-eight-planets/954773001/

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