YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.08

Donald Трамп attacked Senator Bob Corker (R-TN) in a series of tweets Sunday, days after Corker publicly criticized him.

“It’s a shame the White House has become an adult day care center. Someone obviously missed their shift this morning,” Corker wrote.

Aides for Corker say he’s considering a job in the White House’s diaper changing station after he loses his job as Senator.

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American Nazi Richard Spencer and a handful of people held another “tiki-torch rally” in Charlottesville, Virginia.

When asked if they were commemorating their organization’s murder of Heather Heyer in August, Spencer replied, “No, this is just a regular hate rally against black people, Latino people, anyone brown.”

It’s unclear at this time when national news media will start simply describing people like Spencer as, “American Nazis.”

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The National Rifle Association said Sunday it opposes any legislation to ban the use of “bump stocks” on semi-automatic weapons. A bump stock helped an elderly white man murder 58 people in Las Vegas recently.

Rather than focus on gun control, Congress will instead focus on banning birth control for women, because a lot of people in America have lost their minds.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump trashes outgoing Republican Sen. Bob Corker
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/08/politics/donald-trump-bob-corker-tweets/index.html

White Nationalist Richard Spencer Leads Torch-Carrying Crowd in Charlottesville
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/white-nationalist-richard-spencer-leads-torch-carrying-crowd-charlottesville-n808766

NRA: Trump administration, not Congress, should ban ‘bump stocks’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/10/08/nra-trump-administration-not-congress-should-ban-bump-stocks/744138001/

Trump undermines U.S. birth control coverage requirement
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-religion/trump-eviscerates-health-insurance-birth-control-mandate-idUSKBN1CB1XZ

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.02

Donald Трамп called the recent massacre of over 50 people in Las Vegas an “act of pure evil.”

Also an act of pure evil, Congress is about to pass a law making it easier for people who commit mass shootings to buy silencers, but nobody is describing that as such.

Another act of pure evil is allowing the people of Puerto Rico to suffer needlessly.

None of those are punchlines. Sorry.

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The man who murdered 50 people and maimed 400 others in a rain of automatic weapons fire from a hotel room in Las Vegas has left his family shocked. There was nothing in his character that indicated a predilication to violence.

I mean, just because you stockpile a bunch of automatic weapons, ammunition, and such, that doesn’t make you dangerous!

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In related news, shares of stock from gun manufacturers Storm Ruger (RGR) and American Outdoor Brands (AOBC)  jumped 5% in early trading Monday after the mass shooting in Las Vegas.

Republicans are hopeful that words of sadness will mask their efforts to allow mass shootings and the gun industry to continue to flourish in the United States.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump on Las Vegas massacre: ‘An act of pure evil’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/02/politics/donald-trump-las-vegas-shooting-remarks/index.html

House GOP set to approve bill that could make mass shootings deadlier
https://thinkprogress.org/gun-silencer-vote-a6d777b63eb0/

Las Vegas Shooter Stephen Paddock Had Recent Large Gambling Transactions
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/las-vegas-shooting/stephen-paddock-las-vegas-shooting-suspect-identified-n806471

Gun stocks on rise after Las Vegas mass shooting
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2017/10/02/gun-stocks-rise-after-las-vegas-mass-shooting/722538001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.30

The Трамп regime has named Don Wright to acting head of the Department of Health and Human Services following Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price’s resignation Friday afternoon.

Don Wright is expected to resign as Health and Human Services Secretary by April.

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Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said Saturday that he was “probing” for potential dialogue with Pyongyang. Tillerson told reporters that, “We have lines of communications to Pyongyang.”

Meanwhile, it’s clear that Donald Трамп has lines of something whenever he goes into the bathroom. Man, that guy sniffs a lot during speeches, y’know?

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Donald Трамп complained about the leadership abilities of Carmen Yulin Cruz, the mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico, because she’s not being nice to him. Трамп is upset that Cruz has complained about the slow response of the Federal Government to the crisis in Puerto Rico and is unhappy that she, “must be nasty to Trump.”

In related news, Donald Трамп is expected to sweep the 2017, “Jerkoff the Year Awards.” He’s been nominated in all 73 categories!

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Who is Don Wright?
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/29/politics/hhs-don-wright/index.html

U.S. Has ‘Lines of Communication’ with North Korea, Tillerson Says
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/u-s-has-lines-communication-north-korea-tillerson-says-n806186

Trump blasts Puerto Rican mayor for ‘poor leadership’ in hurricane relief crisis
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/09/30/trump-blasts-puerto-rican-mayor-poor-leadership-hurricane-relief-crisis/719429001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.28

Republican Representative Steve Scalise, who was shot in June at a congressional baseball team practice, returned to Capitol Hill Thursday for the first time. He received a standing ovation and an extended session of applause from members of Congress.

Political observers fully expect him to stay on course to support legislation that will continue to allow other people to be shot. “Why should I be the only one to get thunderous applause after surviving a shooting? Gun control means no applause if you live,” Scaliest told reporters.

In related news, a teenager near my neighborhood was shot in the ankle a few days ago. It’s unclear at this time if Congress plans to applaud the teen’s eventual return to school.

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The Трамп Regime announced Thursday that it had waived the Jones Act, a nearly century-old shipping law that doubles the cost of shipping hurricane relief supplies to Puerto Rico.

“At @ricardorossello request, @POTUS has authorized the Jones Act be waived for Puerto Rico. It will go into effect immediately,” White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders tweeted this morning.

Still on the books – deporting children! No sign Трамп is going to budge on that one.

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A “fatberg” made up of grease, fat, wet wipes and other garbage that slowly grew in a Baltimore sewer main is the culprit of the release of more than 1 million gallons of sewage into a Maryland stream last week.

Most local residents were frightened by the “fatberg” although a few weren’t and assumed that it was just Steve Bannon dropping by for a visit.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Steve Scalise returns to Congress, says he is ‘a living example that miracles really do happen’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/28/us/vieques-cut-off-after-hurricane-maria/index.html

Save Our Streets Brooklyn
https://www.facebook.com/sosbrooklyn/photos/a.1531457463756948.1073741833.1522581517977876/1984464398456250/?type=3&theater

White House Waives Jones Act to Help Storm-Ravaged Puerto Rico
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/puerto-rico-crisis/white-house-waives-jones-act-help-storm-ravaged-puerto-rico-n805436

‘Fatberg’ of grease, wipes blamed in Baltimore sewer overflow
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2017/09/28/fatberg-grease-wipes-blamed-baltimore-sewer-overflow/711574001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.26

Donald Трамп told people during a dinner with conservative group leaders at the White House Monday that he was really pleased with how people are reacting to his statements on the NFL.

“It’s really caught on. It’s really caught on,” Trump said of his NFL comments.

White House spokesperson and possible Steve Bannon Horcrux Kellyanne Conway said in a statement that, “Every President since Lincoln has worked really hard to generate Television ratings, and Трамп is just following in a grand tradition.”

Conway later told reporters that Трамп is planning a secret White House wedding to boost ratings during sweeps.

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Speaking of terrible people, Alabama’s Senate race for the Republican primary had front-runner Roy Moore brandishing a revolver on stage during a campaign event. Moore is supported by Steve Bannon, a human being made out of moldy spam who worked in the White House for a few months.

Donald Трамп himself has supported Luther Strange, the GOP incumbent.

A political observer on the scene described the situation as, “just everyone is awful. There’s no good guys, here. Imagine watching, like, Star Wars. But there’s no Han, no Obi-Wan, no Leia, no Luke, no Chewbacca … it’s just Jabba the Hutt fighting Greedo, while Emperor Palpatine plots against them both.”

Y’know, come to think of it, I might watch that movie. I mean, Jabba vs. The Emperor, that sounds great! Haha! Haha. heh. Yeah.

Anyway, the GOP is full of terrible human beings.

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Equifax CEO and Chairman Richard Smith stepped down Tuesday, becoming the latest executive of the credit-reporting giant to step down following a massive cyberbreach that compromised personal information for 143 million U.S. consumers.

Smith will be appointed to the Трамп regime’s National Security Council to lead their investigation into Russian hacking efforts sometime in October.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump at private dinner on NFL feud: ‘It’s really caught on’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/26/politics/trump-nfl-comments-mccain-sessions-private-dinner/index.html

Dueling Alabama GOP Primary Rallies Pit Trump Supporters Versus Trump-Supported Candidate
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/elections/dueling-alabama-gop-primary-rallies-pit-trump-supporters-versus-trump-n804726

Equifax CEO retiring amid cyberbreach fallout
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2017/09/26/equifax-ceo-retiring-amid-cyberbreach-fallout/703173001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.25

As the Republican Party’s last-ditch effort to repeal Obamacare hangs by a thread, a revised version of the Graham-Cassidy bill was circulated to Senate Republicans on Sunday with the aim of winning over key votes. One of the key changes was to allow Alaska to keep Obamacare to get Senator Lisa Murkowski to vote for the bill.

Sources say that Senator Lindsay Graham may change the bill to allow every state to keep Obamacare to get votes, while adding a final provision that says, “We rename Obamacare to Трампcare,” to make everyone happy.

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Donald Трамп banned or restricted visas for travel to the United States from Iran, Libya, Somalia, Syria, Yemen, Chad, North Korea and Venezuela on Sunday. His original travel ban expired the same day.

Aides say Трамп is ready to sign a new bill restricting travel for NFL Players, the NBA, Stevie Wonder, any black people, Nancy Pelosi, and others. The list of other people Трамп would like to ban for travel is being kept on a roll of toilet paper in his favorite bathroom.

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Presidential son-in-law and senior adviser Jared Kushner has been using a private email account to conduct White House business, along with several other officials of the Трамп regime. All of them set-up their private accounts after the election.

It’s unclear at this time if US News Media will run stories about this 24/7 for the next 2 years. A spokesperson for USA Today said, “It really depends on whether or not we can work in mentions of Hillary Clinton while we do it.”

In related news, Irony died yesterday in a quiet ceremony in Washington, D.C.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Republican health care bill revised to target key votes
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/24/politics/revised-graham-cassidy-bill/index.html

Trump Restricts Visas From Eight Countries as Travel Order Expires
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/immigration/trump-restricts-visas-eight-countries-travel-order-expires-n804366

Kushner used private email to conduct White House business
http://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/24/jared-kushner-private-email-white-house-243071

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.16

Having failed to repeal Obamacare, Donald Трамп has said his strategy would be to let the health law “implode.” And according to the Congressional Budget Office, Трамп’s promises to fail to make subsidy payments, along with reductions in advertising to inform people about the markets and employees who sign-up enrollees, will “push enrollment down,” according to the CBO. Millions may lose their health insurance due to the Трамп regime.

When asked what would push enrollment up for Obamacare, Трамп regime Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “I believe the correct answer is your mother,” before walking away from the podium.

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Former St. Louis Police Officer Jason Stockley was found not guilty of the first-degree murder and armed criminal action against Anthony Lamar Smith. Stockley escaped what could have been a lengthy prison sentence despite the fact that he was recorded on video saying he intended to kill Anthony Lamar Smith.

St. Louis Circuit Judge Timothy Wilson, who presided over the racially charged case, was confused by people’s anger over his decision. Wilson told reporters, “Like, Stockley said he was just kidding when he was, like, in court. I mean, just because he said he wanted to kill the guy, then killed him, that’s not the same thing as first degree murder where you say you want to kill a person, then kill him if you’re only kidding.”

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Congress sent a joint resolution condemning “racist violence” from “torch-bearing White nationalists, White supremacists, Klansmen, and neo-Nazis” in Charlottesville to Donald Трамп. Signing the bill would mean clearly rejecting white supremacists. Трамп choose to sign the bill, but added a ‘Presidential signing statement’ that ignored the main provision of the bill, that white nationalists were to blame for violence.

Reporters looking for answers to why Трамп added a signing statement found it when they turned the statement over and found a note that read, “P.S. David Duke me and you are still good booboo – D.T.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump wanted to hurt the Obamacare markets. The CBO says he’s a success.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/15/politics/20170915-cbo-insured-rate-uncertainty-premiums/index.html

Jason Stockley, Ex-St. Louis Officer, Found Not Guilty in Killing of Black Man
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/jason-stockley-ex-st-louis-officer-found-not-guilty-killing-n801626

Faced with an up-or-down choice on Charlottesville resolution, Trump chooses third option
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/09/15/faced-up-or-down-choice-charlottesville-resolution-trump-chooses-third-option/671478001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.15

CNN ran a story, “Trump again seizes on terror incident to call for travel ban,” this morning after a new Donald Трамп tweet in the wake of a terrorist attack on London. Трамп tweeted, “The travel ban into the United States should be far larger, tougher and more specific-but stupidly, that would not be politically correct!”

CNN is considering an alternate headline for the story, “Frightened old man yells on Twitter!”

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Donald Трамп’s negotiations with Democrats to let DREAMers stay in the country has some Congressional Republicans blaming their own party leaders for not being more involved in the negotiations.

Represenative Tom MacArthur (R-NJ) told reporters, “I’m all for a bipartisan deal but it should not be just a deal with House Democrats, Senate Democrats and the White House. If that happens, to me that’s a failure of Republicans here in Congress.”

In response, some Americans are asking, “Who’s Tom MacArthur? Is he related to that General MacArthur? Which war was that guy in?”

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Spokespeople for the University of California, Berkeley said their administration’s goal of allowing a conservative to speak at their campus has been met now that former Breitbart editor, proud member of the so-called ‘alt-right’ and self-declared ‘economic nationalist’ Ben Shaprio has spoken on campus. A phalanx of police and a campus lockdown were required. There were several protests, including Thursday

The other goals for people the Berkeley Administration would like to allow to speak on campus include, “A KKK member, a serial killer, two grizzly bears and someone who’s eaten their own baby,” according to Berkeley sources. Berkeley feels these guests will help round out the world views of their students, especially the bears.

When asked when Martin Shkreli would be allowed to speak on campus, a spokesperson for the Berkeley administration said, “Never! That guy is terrible!”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump again seizes on terror incident to call for travel ban
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/15/politics/donald-trump-london-terrorist-attack/index.html

Trump Talking DACA With Democrats Has Republicans on Edge, Again
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/trump-talking-daca-democrats-has-republicans-edge-again-n801291

Multiple arrests at Ben Shapiro Berkeley protests
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2017/09/15/ben-shapiro-berkeley-protest-arrests/669071001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.14

Senator Chuck Schumer and Representative Nancy Pelosi say they have agreement from Donald Трамп on a plan to protect hundreds of thousands of young undocumented immigrants, and resolved to iron out a border-security plan “excluding” the US-Mexico border wall. The agreement came during a dinner Wednesday night, which featured Chinese food and chocolate pie for dessert.

Sources say that Трамп didn’t eat any of the chocolate pie, and was seen snickering after the dinner. Anonymous White House sources said that Трамп snuck ExLax into the pie. “Oh, they’ll be more than hungry again in an hour!” Трамп giggled as he went to the bathroom to tweet mindlessly until he fell asleep.

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Former Трамп regime spokesman Sean Spicer paid a visit to “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Wednesday night as part of a press tour to rehabilitate his image. Kimmel and Spicer talked about lies from Трамп earlier in the year that his inauguration crowd was the biggest ever, when photographic evidence proved otherwise.

“Why is he so concerned with size?” asked Kimmel. “Have you ever seen the president naked?”

“I have not,” Spicer replied good-naturedly.

Analysts concluded that, based on past statements, that clearly Spicer has seen Трамп naked.

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A North Korean state agency said Thursday that Pyongyang should use nuclear weapons to “sink” Japan and turn the United States into “ashes and darkness” as the country stepped up its threatening rhetoric in reaction to new United Nations sanctions over its nuclear program.

When asked why they made the statement, the North Korean state agency said, “We’ve been out of the headlines in the U.S. since the hurricane, and want to make our way back in.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Schumer, Pelosi, Trump ‘agree’ to fix DACA, disagree on the details
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/13/politics/chuck-schumer-nancy-pelosi-donald-trump/index.html

Sean Spicer on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’: I Haven’t Seen Trump Naked
https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/tv/sean-spicer-jimmy-kimmel-live-i-haven-t-seen-trump-n801221

North Korea: Japan ‘no longer needed to exist near us’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/09/14/north-korea-japan-no-longer-needed-exist-near-us/665002001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.13

House Democrats sent special counsel Robert Mueller what they say is evidence that former national security adviser Michael Flynn failed to disclose a trip he took to the Middle East to explore a business deal with the Saudi government and a Russian government agency.

Reporters on the scene said Mueller sighed, rubbed his face, and just asked the House Democrats to, “Put it on the evidence pile, with everything else. No, not that one. Not that one. Not … you’ll knock it over, just. Here, give it to me. No, it’s fine. Give it to me, I’ll. I’m fine. I’ll deal with it. There’s just so much of this stuff, y’know?”

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Officers Caesar R. Goodson Jr., Garrett E. Miller, Edward M. Nero, William G. Porter, Lt. Brian W. Rice and Sgt. Alicia D. White, all involved in Freddie Gray’s fatal ride in a Baltimore police van won’t face federal civil rights charges, the Justice Department said Tuesday.

A spokesperson for the office of Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III said, “Those lil’ scamps promised us they wouldn’t do it again. Good enough for us!”

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The Supreme Court blocked a lower court decision that would have greatly expanded the number of refugees exempted from Donald Трамп’s controversial travel ban. Challengers countered on Tuesday that the court should not get involved in “ensuring that every possible refugee is excluded.”

In response, Donald Трамп repeatedly screamed, “Nuh-HUH! NUH-HUH! Yes they should! Nuh-huh!” It took four bowls of ice-cream before White House Chief of Staff John Kelly could restrain Трамп and stop his yelling.

Reports say that Kelly is hopeful that adding a nap to Трамп’s afternoon schedule will keep him calmer in the future.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Dems to Mueller: Flynn failed to disclose trip to broker Saudi-Russian business deal
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/13/politics/democrats-mueller-flynn-middle-east-trip-disclosure/index.html

Justice Dept. Won’t Charge Six Officers in Freddie Gray Death
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/baltimore-unrest/justice-department-won-t-charge-six-officers-freddie-gray-death-n800786

Supreme Court: No expansion of travel ban’s refugee exemptions
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/09/12/supreme-court-no-expansion-travel-bans-refugee-exemptions/657273001/

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