These authoritarian times we’re inching towards have gotten popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп historic low-approval ratings, and a strong desire to speak with friendly outlets. This morning, Трамп spoke with Fox News this morning to unite the country, and assuage the fears of his political opponents that he plans to install himself as a dictator for life. Ah, who are we kidding? Трамп actually said a lot of pretty horrible stuff in the interview, including this gem, that the US is becoming a ‘one party system.’

“If you look at what’s been going on with the Democrats, the party, it’s getting smaller and smaller. We’re soon going to have a one party system,” said Трамп during the interview.

Anonymous White House sources are unsure about whether Трамп’s comment about the U.S. becoming a one-party system is a threat or a promise.


Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, in the same Fox interview, also gave himself a grade for his efforts, saying he gets an A for achievements.

“In terms of achievement, I think I’d give myself an A. Because I think I’ve done great things — I and my people, but I don’t think we’ve explained it well enough to the American public. I think I give myself an A in terms of what I’ve actually done,” Трамп said in the same Fox News’ “Fox and Friends” interview.

No word yet on when Трамп plans to award himself a special Presidential ‘Participation Trophy.’


Speaking of lunatics, the growing scandal around Russian interference in the 2016 presidential campaign and continued contacts with Russian agents has people in Congress spooked! House Speaker Paul Ryan was recently at a breakfast with reporters and other journalists this morning, as they all prepared for a special address to Congress by Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. Ryan said that he’s seen no evidence of contacts between Russia and the Трамп regime.

“No one has ever showed us any evidence that any collusion had occurred between an American involved with the political system and the Russians,” Ryan said at the breakfast.

When shown transcripts of the phone calls that Трамп’s former National Security Advisor for less than a month, General Michael Flynn, had made with Russia, Ryan shut his eyes and said, “LALALALALALALALA!” while away from reporters.


It’s okay if you’re feeling freaked out. I’m freaked out. That’s not weakness. That’s having open eyes right now. Like, this special address to Congress tonight? That’s new. There’s a lot that’s new right now. The folks I worry about, both among the people I know and the people I don’t, are the ones trying to convince themselves and other people that this is all normal. Or, to find an, “angle of normal,” in all of this. “Oh, that’s just politics.” Seriously, an Indian man was murdered by a guy in Kansas because the guy thought the Indian man was “middle eastern or Iranian.” ANOTHER Jewish cemetery had its headstones destroyed. And, oh yeah, another 20 synagogues received bomb threats.

If you aren’t freaked out, or you’re surrounded by people who aren’t freaked out? Take caution around those folks. They’re the types who, if a ship was sinking, might stand in place. That’s the most common reaction to crisis that people have, to stand in place.

Me? I want to save the ship. How about you?

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Donald Trump says US is becoming a ‘one party system’

Donald Trump gives himself C grade for messaging, A in achievement

Ryan: Shown No Evidence That Any Americans Colluded With Russia During Campaign


So far, 2017 has been a year of historic firsts. First billionaire dummy President, first time the President’s National Security Advisor resigned after less than one month into a Presidency, and now the first time that the winner of the Oscar for Best Picture was called out incorrectly during a live broadcast!

That’s right, last night, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway called out “La La Land” as the winner for best picture. “La La Land” producer Jordan Horowitz, amidst confusion, then snatched the Best Picture winner envelope from host Jimmy Kimmel and said, “I’m sorry, there’s a mistake. ‘Moonlight,’ you guys won best picture.”

At that exact moment, millions of voters around the country said simultaneously, “Does that guy also have the right envelope for the 2016 Presidential Election?”


Speaking of stuff that’s never really happened before, did you hear the latest whoa and woe for the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп? It turns out that Трамп’s pick for Secretary of the Navy, Philip Bilden withdrew himself from the nomination after he realized he, “will not be able to satisfy the Office of Government Ethics requirements.”

That’s the second time one of Трамп’s nominees had to withdraw due to conflicts with the office of Ethics.

Somehow still in office despite numerous conflicts over ethics:  Donald Трамп!


In other world dictator news, five senior North Korean security officials were recently executed using anti-aircraft cannons for reporting “Fake News” that enraged supreme leader Kim Jong Un.

In related news, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has requested anti-aircraft cannons be installed in the White House Press Room.


Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп met with several insurance company executives today to talk about Obamacare. The result of the meeting? Трамп came to the conclusion that Health Care is a difficult problem in the United States.

Speaking to reporters, Трамп said, “Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.”

Sources say at that moment, every member of Трамп’s staff put their hands behind their backs, looked away, and started to whistle.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Epic Oscars flub: What went wrong

Navy Secretary Nominee Philip Bilden Withdraws

Report: N. Korea executes officials with anti-aircraft guns for ‘enraging’ Kim Jong Un

TRUMP: “Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.”


It looks like after being crowned the King of the Conservative nerd prom, CPAC, that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп won’t bother attending the journalist’s nerd prom, the White House Correspondent’s Association Dinner.

Трамп took to Twitter Saturday, because of course he did, and tweeted, “I will not be attending the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner this year. Please wish everyone well and have a great evening!”

Of course, this was AFTER several news organizations had already withdrawn from the April 29 event in protest of Трамп’s treatment of the media.

The way Трамп talks on Twitter, he sounds like a creepy ex-boyfriend in high-school that’s constantly stopping to talk to his ex-girlfriend during lunch period. “Oh, you guys aren’t going to Prom this year? Oh, like, I’m not going either! I’m totally going to do something cool with my real friends. Do you want to come over? No? That’s cool, maybe I should stop by, oh, no? Well, whatever, see you in homeroom later.”

That’s our President. The creepiest ex-boyfriend in a high-school cafeteria.


Speaking of creepy, did you hear what popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп said about nuclear weapons? He said he wants the US to be “at the top of the pack” when it comes to having nuclear weapons.

Which is confusing, because we have more nuclear weapons and spend more than any other nation on Earth right now. The US is currently spending $1 trillion over the next 30 years to modernize our nuclear submarines, bombers, ballistic and land-based missiles.

Of course, Трамп thinks of himself, and his brand, as ‘top of the pack,’ So, clearly, the problem must be that the Трамп logo isn’t yet on our nuclear weapons.


Speaking of deranged lunatics, GOP congressman Darrell Issa (R-CA), was on ‘Real Time With Bill Maher’ and called for a special counsel to investigate ties between popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп and Russia this weekend.

“You’re going to need to use the special prosecutor’s statute and office,” Issa said, adding that “you can’t just give it to your deputy. That’s another political appointee.” The crowd cheered in response, as did Maher.

Man, these Republican Congressmen and Senators. They go on TV on the weekend, and say, “Let’s do something about Трамп!” Then Monday comes along, and it’s business as usual, and none of the ones talking follow-up on what they said.

It’s like listening to your friend that constantly gets drunk and talks about, “learning how to play the drums, man. I’m going to do it. I’d be awesome at it! I’m totally going to do it on Monday!” Then Monday comes along, and they just get up, go to work, and pretend they never said it.

No word yet on whether Congreeman Issa has a drum set.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump declines to attend White House correspondents’ dinner

Trump’s call for US nuclear supremacy raises questions

GOP congressman Issa calls for special counsel on Trump and Russia


At the Conservative nerd prom, CPAC, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп spent time criticizing American media as enemies of the American people. Трамп complained that reporters are always talking their first amendment right to report the news. “You know, they always bring up the Fiii-rrrst Amendment,” Трамп said with a sort of whine.

Later that day, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer blocked access to a White House Press Briefing to several media companies, including CNN, Politico, the LA Times, BuzzFeed, the Huffington Post and the New York Times. Spicer implied they were blocked from access for reporting on a story about the White House requesting the FBI to ‘squash’ stories about ties between the White House and Russia. As you may recall, the General Michael Flynn, the former National Security Advisor to the President recently resigned over repeated, illegal contacts with the Russian government.  

But, not included in his list, Teen Vogue! Which must mean that this quote from Lauren Duca must be true!

“Trump’s war on the truth takes aim at the foundation of all efforts to fight back. Staying informed is the bare minimum.”

Thanks for clarifying that statement must, indeed, be true aspiring dictator Donald Трамп!


In other unsurprising news, people at CPAC, formerly skeptical of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп are promising to stand by him as their new President. People like Eric Finch, of West Virginia, who said, “I’d stand behind him until he is impeached. I’d probably go out and call for his impeachment if he shot someone. But there has to be a process. And I imagine there would be a story. Maybe the guy attacked him, or Secret Service wasn’t there.”

An anonymous source then asked Finch what his support would be if Трамп, say, cooked a live baby and ate it on national TV? Finch said, “Eh, maybe 50/50 at that point, hard to say, maybe babies are delicious, who knows?”


Speaking of fake news, boy, it seems every media company is on the hit list of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. But one media company who won’t get the label ‘fake news’ in a Трамп administration is Fox News!

One story that Трамп and team have been promoting is the idea that Sweden has become a haven for criminal activity after they allowed Muslim immigration into their country. Bill O’Reilly recently had Nils Bildt, billed as a ”Swedish Defense and National Security Advisor,” on his show to offer his thoughts on the growing crisis in Sweden. Bildt said that in Sweden, “There is a problem with socially deviant activity, there is a problem with crime, [and] there is a problem with areas or hotspots of crime,” due to Muslim refugees.

However, it turns out Bildt does not work for the Swedish government. Marie Pisäter of the Swedish Defense Ministry said, ”We have no spokesman by that name.” The Swedish Foreign Office said, “We do not know who he is.”

But, it does appear that Bildt is known to the State of Virginia. Bildt was arrested, and convicted, for assaulting a law enforcement officer and for obstruction of justice in Virginia. Bildt was sentenced to one year in prison for the assault.

An anonymous source said they confronted Sean Spicer in the restroom of an Arby’s that Трамп recently had placed in the White House about the allegations. Spicer was said to have screamed, “FAKE NEWS!” to everyone in the rest room, then invited a reporter for Brietbart and one from Fox to meet him in the handicapped stall to talk about, “Real stuff away from this bunch of jerks!”

No word yet on whether Arby’s does, indeed, have the meats.


NOTE: I have never eaten at Arby’s.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!


Jake Tapper Nails White House Barring Of Media With 1 Perfect Word

CNN and Other Media Outlets Blocked From White House Gaggle

Press Gaggle by Press Secretary Sean Spicer, 2/24/2017

Why We ALL Need to Be Activists Right Now

Trump’s Support Is Unwavering Among Republicans. But It’s Not Why You Think.

Fake Sweden expert on Fox News – has criminal convictions in US, no connection to Swedish security


Hey, it’s that time of year again, yes, it’s CPAC, the conservative prom! Yay! And this year’s prom king is none other than popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. The CPAC Prom King gave a speech that included, yet again, attacks on the first amendment of the Constitution he’s clearly never read. Трамп accused reporters of making-up unnamed sources for “fake news” and again describing the media as “the enemy” of the American people. His supporters, holding small Russian flags with the word ‘Trump’ on it, waved them at him in joyous response.

“They are the enemy of the people,” popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп told the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. And he threatened, “we’re going to do something about it.”

The president did not elaborate on WHAT he was planning to do. But, if the first month of his administration is a sign, he’s probably going to go to Mar-A-Lago at tax-payer expense, play some golf, then put his plans on a dining room table so that it leaks to Russia.


Speaking of leaking information, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп criticized FBI “leakers” today as he and aides sought to push back on news reports that his chief of staff asked the bureau to “knock down” stories about investigations into possible contacts between Trump campaign associates and Russian officials.

“The FBI is totally unable to stop the national security ‘leakers’ that have permeated our government for a long time,” Трамп tweeted. “can’t even.find the leakers within the FBI itself. Classified information is being given to media that could have a devastating effect on U.S. FIND NOW.”

A likely source for potential leaks may be Трамп and his staff themselves. It was less than two weeks ago, on February 13, 2017, that Трамп and staff left critical US intelligence information on a dining room in Mar-a-Lago, as wealthy members looked on from their tables and listened in on critical intelligence decisions.

Sources say Трамп was probably peaking into a mirror when he tweeted about Leakers.


Speaking of good people trying to fight back against a rising muck, did you know that Representative Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.) requested a “resolution of inquiry” into Трамп’s numerous business conflicts and ties to Russia. An obscure Congressional rule would allow Democrats to call the resolution to the floor for a vote by the full House should no one take up the inquiry. But, if the House Judiciary panel, led by Republican Representative Bob Goodlatte (R-VA), rejects the resolution outright, then no investigation would occur.

If you stayed awake through reading all that parlimentary procedure, it means, “Hey, Representative Jerry Nadler from NY wants the Congress to look into Trump’s ties to Russia, but a Republican named after the coffee drink you get in the morning doesn’t want to!”


Speaking of fake news, did you hear the latest unsurprising poll results? It looks like a majority of Americans still disapprove of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s performance in office. However, in equally unsurprising news, 9 in 10 Republicans and Republican-leaners think he’s doing a great job.

It turns out that his low approval rating is the lowest of any newly elected president since polls began tracking presidential job approval. Meaning, he’s number one on the list of least popular and effective Presidents.

In response to the poll, Трамп spokespeople complained, “Why is everyone so focused on the negatives, huh? He’s number one on a list, you should just report that!”

Reportedly, Трамп will shortly announce he plans to bomb Greenland to improve his poll numbers.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump watch: Live coverage

Trump again calls media ‘enemy of the people’

Someone handed out Trump Russian flags on the #CPAC2017 floor before Trump’s speech

Trump blasts FBI for ‘leaks’ in midst of investigation

Trump Tackles North Korea Crisis in Crowded Mar-a-Lago Dining Room

Pool report on WH effort to get FBI to knock down Russia + Trump connections.

GOP to bury House resolution on Trump conflicts

Poll: More Than Half Disapprove of Donald Trump’s Job Performance


Republican Senator Tom Cotton faced an angry crowd during a town hall in Arkansas, but one little boy and his question made the crowd cheer. Cotton took a question from 7-year old Toby Smith.

The little boy took the microphone and said, “I’m Toby. Donald Trump makes Mexicans not important to people who are in Arkansas who like Mexicans, like me, my grandma. And he is deleting all the parks and PBS Kids just to make a wall … and he shouldn’t do that.”

No word yet on when the ICE agents of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп will be coming to deport Toby.


Did you hear about ‘United to Protect Democracy?’ This is a group of lawyers who helped President Obama craft and hold to rules of ethical conduct that they believe strongly popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is breaking and will break, due to the continued politicization of the government. The group has raised $1.5 million, hired five staffers and incorporated as both a 501(c)(3) and 501(c)(4), allowing them to operate as a nonprofit but participate in some forms of political advocacy as well.

White House press secretary Sean Spicer, responding to the group’s formation, said, “This administration has raised the level of ethics training and oversight to a new level compared to the practices of the previous administration.”

When the room burst into spontaneous laughter at Spicer’s remarks, two people were hospitalized for being unable to breathe. The hysterical laughter continued for 12 hours after Sean Spicer left in a huff.


Speaking of pasty-faced guys, did you hear what Michael Moore said on Twitter a few days ago? For those who don’t know, Twitter is a favorite passtime for older middle-aged men to rant about politics (the author of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA fits that bill), and Moore is no exception.

Moore tweeted on February 19, 2017, “A few minutes ago, I launched RESISTANCE CALENDAR! A one-stop site for all anti-Trump actions EVERY DAY nationwide:” But, there’s already a Facebook group with about 65,000 likes called “Daily Action” that does exactly that. And a few other organizations already promoting work to do locally.

Sort of reminds me of Bill Maher taking credit for Milo Yiannopoulos downfall; even though it was mostly the work of other people (including Larry Wilmore on his own show), Maher definitely wants the credit.

No word yet on what the name of the movie Moore is planning to make about his time as the self-appointed leader of the resistance against popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп will be called yet.


Speaking of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, he made a promise to the American people in August, 2016, to work hard for their interests. Трамп said, “I’m going to be working for you. I’m not going to have time to go play golf.”

The Washington Post recently spent some time breaking down how the nation’s most unpopular President has spent his time in office in his first month. So far, Трамп has spent 4 hours delivering News Conferences, 6 hours signing bills and Executive Orders, and 6 hours at Intelligence briefings.

But, get this, he’s spent 13 hours on Twitter. And 25 hours golfing! In the first month!

There’s no word yet on how much time he spent actually reading any of the executive orders or other documents put in front of him. So, quick, someone put an order in front of him that says, “I resign!” stat and get him to sign it before he notices.

Tell Трамп it’s a 2 for 1 coupon for golfing for anyone who uses Twitter a lot, I’m sure he’ll go for it!


If you went to a town hall, or helped organize people to bring them to one, your efforts count! Look at the news today. You are making a difference. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, well, there’s no time like the present to learn and get involved!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Young boy steals show at town hall

Obama lawyers form ‘worst-case scenario’ group to tackle Trump

Michael Moore really really wants to lead the ‘Resistance’

Bill Maher, Faulted for Booking Milo Yiannopoulos, Takes Credit for His Fall

How Trump spent his first month in office, by the numbers

Daily Action on Facebook


Studies have suggested that cat ownership could be linked to certain mental disorders, such as schizophrenia, but researchers at University College London say they found no link between cat ownership and the development of psychotic symptoms.

In addition, in a hastily added footnote, the study claims that cats do not possess the ability to put owners and other people under hypnotic mind control in order to force them to do the bidding of cats.

The lead researcher in the study replied to questions about the veracity of the last element of the report by email, writing, “adkla; this reeportt IZ GUD NOT DUN BY PEEPLE UNDER CAT MIND CONTROL dogz suck buy more wett fud adf123123”


Speaking of mental health problems, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп spoke out Tuesday about 68 plus bomb threats and other harassment received by Jewish Community Centers in United States in the past six weeks.

The Anne Frank Center for Mutual Respect said the Трамп administration has embraced anti-Semitism by waiting six weeks to comment, and by removing references to Jewish people in its International Holocaust Remembrance Day statement last month.

“The President’s sudden acknowledgment is a Band-Aid on the cancer of anti-Semitism that has infected his own administration,” the group’s executive director, Steven Goldstein, said in a social media post.

Bizarrely, Трамп’s remarks on anti-semitism on Tuesday were made while speaking to reporters at the National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington.

Sources indicate that Трамп will comment on the plight of African-Americans at a local Taco Bell, and will make comments about Japanese Internment camps as soon as he can find a synagogue.

An anonymous source said the best way that Трамп could root out hate and prejudice and evil would be to resign, but, hey, what can you do?


Y’know, speaking of racist jerks, did you hear what’s happening to a biracial couple in Stamford, Connecticut? Heather Lindsay and Lexene Charles are an interracial couple living in Stamford, whose house has been the repeated target of racist graffiti. Their neighbors also shout the n-word at them from time to time. Despite repeated requests to police to investigate, so far, the Stamford police have been unwilling to help, and have gotten nowhere investigating the source of the racist attacks.

Over the weekend of Martin Luther King Jr. Day last month, someone defaced their garage by painting the n-word on it. Fed up with a lack of police action, the couple decided to leave it in plain view until the police respond to the crime and discover who did it.

In response, Stamford’s police department cited the couple for, “blight,” and said if they don’t take the grafitti down, they face a fine of $100 day.

In addition, local sources say the local police chief is planning to sit on the chest of Lexene Charles then use his hands to smack Charles while demanding he, “stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself,” until the couple agrees to pay the fine.

It’s a grand life in Trumpistan 2017 folks!


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Cat ownership not linked to mental health problems, study says

Anne Frank Center: Anti-Semitism has ‘infected’ Trump administration

Trump denounces anti-Semitism after Jewish community centers receive 68 bomb threats in six weeks

Targets of racist graffiti now getting fined for it


CNN recently reported that 9 out of 10 Republicans nationwide voted for popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп in the November 2016 election, despite concerns that many of them had about whether or not Трамп was a decent human being. CNN spoke with Republicans David Searles, Rebecca Meyer and Gail Francioli.

“Trump’s a buffoon,” David Searles said before casting a vote for Marco Rubio in the New Hampshire primary.

“He scares me,” Rebecca Meyer said before settling on Ben Carson in South Carolina’s primary.

“He’s not presidential,” Gail Francioli said after backing Ohio Gov. John Kasich in that state’s primary.

But, it turns out, indeed, all three voted for Trump in November, and are now happy with his performance now.

An alternate headline suggested for the CNN article is, “Cult members are still thumbs up about new cult leader!”


Angelina Jolie was in Cambodia recently to promote her new film based on the country’s Genocide, “First They Killed My Father.” A reporter from the BBC met with Jolie and her children to try local delicacies, including a variety of cooked bugs.

Reportedly, Jolie told her kids, “This bug is named Jennifer, this scorpion is named Brad …” before biting the heads off the cooked bugs, and cackling.


Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп pledged Tuesday to combat bigotry and unite our, “divided country” at the end of his first ever visit to the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

“Today and every day of my presidency I pledge to do everything I can to continue that promise of freedom for African-Americans and for every American,” Трамп said. He also bragged about his electoral college performance again, and said, “folks,” an unverified number of times.

As a reminder, Трамп has also promised to release his tax returns, show details of his divestment into his businesses, and continues telling people that yes, that is his real hair. So, fingers crossed that he means whatever nice thing he promised this time!


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

These Republicans didn’t like Trump at first. They do now.

Angelina Jolie exclusive: Cooking bugs in Cambodia

Trump pledges to unite ‘divided country’ after African-American history museum visit


Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski recently spoke with David Axelrod and blamed an inexperienced staff for the current chaos in the White House.

“The staff has probably not prepared him as well as they could have or should have,” particularly on the immigration executive order, Corey Lewandowski said, noting that not one member of Trump’s senior staff “ever worked inside the government.”

Of course, last week, Lewandowski claimed that his White House was running like “a fine-tuned machine.”

And In November, then RNC strategist, and now White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer said to Time Magazine that, “You don’t tell Trump you can’t do this, stop doing that.”

So, it’s not really Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s fault that he hired a staff inexperienced in Washington politics and policy that’s continually letting him down due to their inexperience with Washington politics and policy and their inability to tell him how to stay on message, even though he’s unreceptive to being told what to do.


Speaking of older American men who are in charge of things, Senator John McCain slammed Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп by saying dictators “get started by suppressing free press.”

The observation stunned the press, even though McCain also hates them.

McCain told Chuck Todd on NBC News’ ‘Meet the Press that, “I hate the press. I hate you especially. But the fact is we need you. We need a free press. We must have it. It’s vital.”

After being asked if dictators also get started when Senators and Representatives critique them on TV but don’t vote against their wishes or offer any oversight, McCain coughed, pointed offstage and said “Look, it’s Elvis Presley!” then ran out of the room.


Speaking of older American men who used to be on TV, former host of “Live! With Regis and Kelly” painted a picture of a strained relationship with Kelly Ripa during an appearance on “Larry King Now.”

Regis said, “[Kelly] got very offended when I left. She thought I was leaving because of her.”

Producer for “Live! With Kelly” Dave Davis, though, pointed out that Regis had been on the show several times, and were on friendly terms. WABC provided CNN with a video that showed Regis and Kelly embracing in the makeup room prior to the special. Regis then embraces Kelly, kisses her, and says, “Look at you Miss Beautiful Star,” as people in the room applaud. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away,” Ripa responds.

Who would have thought we live in a time when an older guy who’s a former TV star would have memory problems and perhaps offer ‘alternative facts’ to what actually happened in order to make his position more sympathetic?


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Lewandowski: Trump’s staff is letting him down

What Donald Trump’s Staff Choices Show So Far

McCain: Dictators ‘get started by suppressing free press’

Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa don’t talk


The big news yesterday, at least according to popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, was the campaign rally he held in Melbourne, Florida on Saturday to bolster his sagging ego amidst a floundering White House and historically high disapproval ratings for his agenda. The weather was partly cloudy, and was held in a small airplane hanger in the small city, known mostly as a suburb for various defense contractors.

9,000 die-hard Трамп supporters showed up for the rally, barely filling the metal bleachers crammed into the small hangar. Трамп spent most of the evening ripping on the media as “fake news” and renewed pledges to take away people’s health care, and throw immigrant families out of the country.

In addition, on the way to the rally, a middle-school student was investigated by the Secret Service for throwing a 2×4 at President Трамп’s motorcade, showing how much fear he has of children–pardon, I’m being interrupted as I type this by a couple of large men in black suits wearing sunglasses.

Just received word from the Трамп regime requesting that I make changes to this story, or otherwise plan to get waterboarded as an enemy of the American people. We’ll be making a correction shortly.


Actual Real Popular Vote Winner and World’s Greatest Best Ever Beloved President Donald “I Got Big Hands” Trump was begged by his adoring fans to speak at an “Up With America!” convention in Melbourne, Florida on Saturday, in order to bring hope to people hearing nothing but fake news about his amazing, world’s greatest White House and historically high approval ratings given to him by real people that count. The weather was the best that Melbourne had EVER seen, ever, and there were no clouds, and it was held in the biggest Airplane Hanger on planet Earth. Trump was there to remind people of how awesome of a job he’s doing, and also to give them hope.

900 million people spontaneously arrived at the impromptu event organized by someone other than Donald “The Lion” Trump, which required people to put each other on their shoulders. Lines of people held fast, with people stacked at least 20 high, shoulder to shoulder, toe to toe. Trump gave, what historians are already saying, the best speech ever in the history of the Presidency, even better than that one by Abraham Lincoln or that no good poop-head foreigner who was the previous President.

In addition, on the way to the rally, a group of children spontaneously threw flowers towards best biggest nicest human Donald “I’m A Regular Guy” Trump, who is totally not afraid of children, or racist, or anti-semetic, and who also won 306 electoral college votes, by the way, which is YUGE.


Just received word from the offices of WWE Superstar and World’s Best President Ever Donald “I’m Humble” Trump that they sense sarcasm in this report, and will plan on waterboarding me anyway. More good news!


Y’know, speaking of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, that rally yesterday, man, he said a LOT of nutty things there. Here’s a couple of quotes that, out of nowhere, he launched into about Sweden.

“You look at what’s happening last night in Sweden. Sweden, who would believe this?” “Sweden,” he said. “They took in large numbers. They’re having problems like they never thought possible.”

Presumably, Трамп was talking about a terror attack or some other big news item out of Sweden on Friday. But the former Prime Minister of Sweden, Carl Bildt, took to Twitter to express bafflement at the idea.

“Sweden? Terror attack? What has he been smoking? Questions abound,” wrote Bildt.

If you check, though, one of the bigger news items in Sweden on Friday was an advisory that Government officials there made, calling on people to prepare for potential invasion by Russia. The renewed Cold War-era tensions rising there are alarming enough that Russia’s ambassador went on Sweden’s SVT television network earlier in the week to reassure Swedish citizens that Russia had no plans to invade.

“We respect the integrity of Sweden, and we have no plans whatsoever to invade Sweden, so the Swedish population can sleep easy,” Viktor Tatarintsev told Sweden’s SVT television network.

But, if you read the transcript of Трамп’s speech? He mentions Sweden 3 times, and Russia is mentioned exactly zero times.

So Sweden is, indeed, having problems like they never thought possible, just like the rest of us! I guess that means Трамп finally said something true at a rally!


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!